Audio, Video, Disco

I have a Tumblr now.

2010-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to get rid of my Blogger account because I have found Tumblr and its glorious! My URL is http://littlemissmortis.tumblr.com

Check me out!

I'm really kind of sad to be getting rid of my account here because it has so many of my thoughts in these posts. Its all good though because I'll have many more thoughts and I can capture them in my new blog. OH! The blog! Its called Slim Jones Jackson. :)

So heavy in your arms

2010-07-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty obsessed with "Heavy in Your Arms" by Florence and the Machine. Its a powerful song for sure. I bought hair dye today because my roots are starting to show. Also, I finally found this new mascara that I've been looking for for about 3 weeks. Its Revlon Growlucious mascara and I found it at Target. I haven't been this excited in a little while. :)

So I have a full week at work this week. Mon, Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sun...I'm pretty tired right now. 4 full shifts and a 6 hour one tonight. Crazy amounts of money about to be made, I'm excited. I have to get ready for work now. Hasta.

Much love.

Being and Nothingness

2010-07-09T23:33:00.000-07:00

Watching Wizards of Waverly Place and its awesome. I have things to do today, but its my day off and I really believe in having a day OFF. Of doing nothing and enjoying the nothingness of it all. Unfortunately its really hard to do nothing living under the same roof as my parents...I love them, I do, but they don't share my same ideology, of that I'm sure. My dad will complain about being soooo tired on Friday night and then get up at some unGodly hour on Saturday morning and do yardwork or go flying or just do something to pass the time. He is incapable of sitting around reading a book for more than an hour or just sitting listening to the silence. My mom is a little better than him for she can read for hours or take a nap just because. I am the grand master of doing nothing and enjoying it fully when I can. I search the internets for interesting movies I've never heard of or flipping through blogs and adding ones I see promise in.

Its my dad's birthday today and I slept through him leaving this morning because I closed last night. I hardly ever see my parents anymore because we no longer have even remotely similar sleep schedules. They get up at 6:30 and leave for work at 7:45, I get up at 8:3o or 9 because I don't get home til 12:30 or 1 in the morning so while I'm sleeping they're already at work. Because of this my mom feels the need to call later in the day to communicate with me because she feels like we don't see each other enough at the present moment. I think its kind of nice, if not a it annoying. Anyhoo, my mom and I made my dad dinner tonight and we all enjoyed it while watching Forever Young. Then we had Boston cream pie (why its called pie when it is clearly a cake will forever be beyond me) and sang happy birthday. Then I promptly became ill with nausea and a headache and fatigue. Pretty much I'm just TIRED. So bedtime for me before something goes awry in my body and my symptoms get worse. I hope I feel better in the morning.

Hasta.

I feel threatened...

2010-07-05T00:28:00.000-07:00

Today I was threatened by a coworker in front of a manager. She said I was a terrible human being and that I did the most cutthroat shit and I was lucky she didn't smash my teeth into my throat. She is now being written up for making me feel threatened in a "safe zone" and she has to talk to the store manager who will speak with the regional manager and the franchise owner. It was a scary experience to say the least over the lamest thing ever...a guy. Granted the guy is awesome and sweet and funny, but it was just stupid. My life was a living hell for a good 3 1/2 hours...and I thought it was going to be ok til I was washing my hands and she said, "What? Not going to talk to me?" And I said that I didn't want to talk about it at work and I was really trying to be nice. It was actually really nice of the manager to look out for me by standing between her and myself. Anyway, just thought I'd share my first scary encounter with ya'll.

My mom and dad went to Sonora for a couple days and my mom brought back the CUTEST Burt's Bees lip balm purse. It has 4 chapsticks in it and its adorable!!!! My mom is soooooo coool.

I recently began keeping a journal again and I really like it. I forgot how good it feels to get your thoughts down onto paper...its a release for sure. Its also a way to deal with stress so I don't turn to cigarettes or something more dangerous or self-destructive like I have in the past.

I'm getting pretty good hours at work lately and its awesome! This week I'm work 4-close (midnight) on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and I'm psyched!

I'm suuuuuuuuuuuper tired so I'm going to head off to bed.

Night. :)

Lady Gaga - Speechless

2010-07-02T01:20:00.000-07:00

Soooo...it is now the 2nd of July. Where did the month of June go? That is the question I asked myself all day today. Closing at work makes the time slip more apparent. I wake up in the morning and I don't know what day it is because technically I've already started the day when I get off work. Its weird for sure.

My aunt sent me a ring probably a year ago and it has made a beautiful addition to my toes! It is the cutest toe ring ever. :) I don't know why I didn't start wearing it sooner!

I just made my first eBay purchase! I bought a zebra phone case...its soooooo cute! And with shipping it was only $8.21, I'm so excited. :)

I'm not ashamed to admit that I still subscribe to Seventeen magazine because there are actually a few really good articles in each one that are applicable to a 20 year old. The one I received this month has a SUPER good article about a fitness plan and I'm going to try it out. Its a 6 week program where the exercises change every week. I'm hoping by the end of summer I'll be more toned and leaner and overall healthier. I'm feeling enthusiastic right now.

I think thats pretty much all I want to talk about this time. Keep ya updated!

Retro, Dance, Freak undercover the girl she needs a lover.

2010-06-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

I like what I read in Rachel's blog so I'm going to steal her idea about the Public Humiliation Diet...it sounds pretty awesome to me though I don’t think public humiliation alone will do the trick. And I’d like to make long term changes instead of having a yo-yo diet fluke. So, here are the changes I’m trying to live into:

Limit snacks to fruits and veggies. (Shouldn't be too difficult I hope.)

No more snacking at work. (it isn't snacking so much as not bringing my own lunch or dinner that I get so hungry I order something...so I'll have to work on bringing a bag lunch for my shifts that are longer than 3-4 hours.)

Try to avoid prepackaged foods, including fast food as well as frozen meals or boxed snacks. (This is going to be pretty freaking hard for me seeing as how I work at McDonalds the king of all fast food joints...woe is my employment situation.)

Swap out soda for tea and water. (Done and done.)

Quality over quantity of food; (i.e. instead of chicken strip combo at Jack in the Box, make sweet tea, salad, and chicken with pasta.)

Find ways to be more active; even if not “exercising” (lifting weights, running, etc) be doing something more than sitting on my butt. (Inviting friends to go for a walk or going for a hike or riding bikes or just strolling around downtown Chico or going to a park.)

I will post my weight whenever I get on here so you can see my progress or slip ups.

Anyhoo, my day has been pretty chill even with my dad limbing trees for the better part of 5 hours and my mom and I hauling the limbs into a huge limb pile. I cleaned my car (which needed it desperately) and I'm showered and about to go to Casa de Paradiso with my parents and my dad's friend Butch and his wife. Should be a good night.

Byeee.

Closing time

2010-06-15T00:41:00.000-07:00

Closed for the first time tonight and it was actually fun! The only thing that sucked was a guy ordered something through the drive thru at 10:56 pm it was annoying. But he was the last customer and we cleaned for an hour and we were out by midnight. I like closing, but I think I'm only gonna like it when its Steve, Jordan and Drew...they are RAD.

Sitting on the dock of the bay

2010-06-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

I really love the song I put in my title today. I went to an open mic night at Has Beans last week and there was a woman there who sang it and it literally brought me to tears listening to her. I haven't been able to find her on Facebook or Myspace, but I want to buy her demo or album or whatever she has because her voice is AMAZING. I need to hear it like everyday.

I'm pretty legit about becoming a vegan this time around. I want to eat more vegetables and fruits and I just think it will help me become more healthy and lose a little weight. I've already lost a little within the past few weeks and I think that making this change will really help it.

I like to give blood and I think my iron will be on point more often. Because right now I don't eat meat that often anyway so I'm thinking its going to be all good in the hood.

I'm getting really good at my job at McDonalds, but I think once the veganism begins I'm going to have to find a new job that doesn't have to do with food. It'll just be easier that way. I really like my coworkers though, they're super nice and funny and I don't usually mind stupid customers anymore either I just accept the fact that I'm never going to be able to be a manager because I will cut a bitch. Its an inevitability I think.

I found this blog called the Vegan Lunch Box and I think it will really help my transition from carnivore to herbivore.

Soo this Shawn guy, super nice, but sooo busy. I feel like if he really liked me he would make time and he did for the first 2 weeks, but now I text him and he'll get back to me like 5 hours later and he said that he's terrible at texting, but some times what I have to say doesn't merit a call. Like if I'm on my 10 min break at work and I just want to say hi I send him a text, I don't call him and say, "I just wanted to say hi, but I really don't have time to say much else." It seems rude to me.

Anyway, I'm going to Market tonight because I don't have work, so I think I'm going to wear a dress and my big sunglasses and wear my hair down with a few braids and just see what kind of free trouble I can get into. Sounds like fun right? I think so too. :)

Have a nice day all you bloggers.

I feel like writing probably about things you don't want to know

2010-06-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

I reallllly like cuddling with Shawn. There's something about his body heat that just really relaxes me and I think it also has something to do with his room. I like how it smells I like the temperature and I like the vibe I get there. I also think that I really want to date him. He's nice and loves his family and he mostly has his shit together and I'm comfortable around him. I don't feel awkward or anything and he tells me that I'm pretty. Which I already know, but its still nice to hear from a guy.

I really like the show Weeds. Its a good one fasho. Super funny and entertaining.

I crocheted a little cozy for my phone and its pretty awesome. I'm making one for Kara today so I hope she likes it. I think she will.

I'm sooooooo tired today! I don't know want to do anything, just sleep. I think I'll take a nap in a little while. I have to put the dishes away, wash a pan, and pick up the floor in my room. Then it is sweet nap time and definitely a shower after that.

B.U.N.C.E.

2010-06-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

I'm growing into my new tattoo. It has shed its scabby exterior and unsheathed its beautifully inked permanence. Its becoming part of who I am and I in turn am becoming part of what it is.

Once again there is a guy in my life. He's nicer than any of the other ones though...so thats good. His name is Shawn and he is a super cool guy. We've been hanging out for a couple weeks and we really seem to like each other. Well, I know I like him and its looks like he likes me...so we're good.

I'm going to be working a lot this summer to save up for moving out in the end of July. I'm so excited! I really just need to get out of my parent's house and be on my own (as on my own as I can get living with 2 other girls :P) and live my life for awhile.

Thats all for now.

Just got a tattoo!

2010-05-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

I made my deadline of May is national Heather gets a tattoo month! I'm proud of myself because I promised Chelsea that I would get a tattoo with her before she moved to Woodland and I made it by like 3 days. I also took it like a champ. I was waaaaaaay scared and it didn't hurt except for when he was adding color. That shit was all bad. Its really quite cute though. I have to remember to keep putting lotion on it...its scabbing over like a mo fo.

So it looks like I'm actually moving out around July 31st. Sooo that should be a good time. :) I'm super excited fasho. Its called Sandalwood Apartments...they seem to be super nice!

There is a nice guy named Shawn that I've been hanging out with for a little while and it seems like he's a nice guy. I like him. :)

Hello friends, it's been awhile...

2010-05-15T21:37:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to lie, I'm in the bathroom typing this because I'm awesome. I have to write 8 mini speeches before tomorrow night and I'm scared. 10 chairs is a lot to be nominated for in a sorority, its actually kind of insanity. Just sayin'.

On the bright side, I don't work tomorrow so I'm going to spend the whole day in Chico so that should be fun right? I'm thinking yes. :) Also, I got a super cute top and I am definitely going to be wearing tomorrow. Fasho.

I still don't hate my job, which I think is good for working at McDonalds for 6 months. Oh jeez...where has the time gone? Just yesterday it seemed like I'd only been working there for a month and now I'm at 6? Crazy I tell you, just nuts!

Ok, I'm just saying that I look too cute tonight not to go out. I think I will.

That is all until I can think of something else to write either tomorrow or the next day. :)

Just so you know, you sound like a fortune cookie

2010-03-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

I have much to discuss and relay to all you interweb explorers.

I officially have 12 units by way of the counselor I made my appointment with happens to teach a College and Life Success class and she said she would add me...I thought it was really nice. :) She's awesome and made me feel a little bit better about the fuck of a life I have. Not that I don't love the fuck of a life I have, I just wish it was a bit less fucked...you know? Perhaps not, but I do and thats what matters.

This weekend is hopefully Active Retreat and I say hopefully because it isn't set in stone that we're going...we had $400 to raise in what ended up being a rather short amount of time and if we don't make the money we don't go. Here's the breakdown of the money I'm aware we've made: car wash - $13.69, Aly collecting change - $20, Kara and I collecting change - $70.88, me collecting change - 17.92, Chelsea's donation - $70 and my donation - $100. The grand total isssssss - $292.49! That means we only need $107.51 and then Active Retreat is ourrs!!! Its so close, I will be super mad if we don't get to go. I may cry. :(

Also, I really like hanging out at the TGs, they're a bunch of cool, chill guys. They're all super nice to us KSD girls and I think the best times are when we all just chill...the parties are nice, but hanging out is just awesome. Its more relaxed and I think people are more authentic when its just a few people and we can get to know each other.

Work is ok, I took Friday, Saturday, and Sunday so I got absolutely no hours this week. I feel like I'm being punished a little bit. Booooo.

I fully plan to move out by the end of this summer. I can't wait. :)

I made a tie dye shirt on Sunday here's a pic!

2010-02-01T10:09:00.000-08:00

Its the first day of February and I am sitting in the parking lot of the Abbey mooching off of their WiFi writing this blog.

My first class was cancelled idk why so I have to catch the 11:35 bus and its raining. I do not like it when rains and I have to go to school. I hope it does not rain all week because my girls and I have a booth set up (or waiting til the rain goes away to be set up) at CSU publicizing Kappa Sigma Delta Rush Week Spring 2010!! February 8th-13th. :) Its gonna be awesome!

I suppose I should drive to the bus stop now. I don't want to miss my class. I will not miss that class....ever.

Viva Daisy

2010-01-29T09:38:00.000-08:00

I had hunger pains when I woke up this morning. I'm thinking I malnourished myself last yesterday. I will have to do that again today. Just kidding.

So today...well here's my plan: watch cartoons in the morning (I'm doing that right now), go to the library to make their monthly calendar for March, clean my room and find time to exercise before I work at 6. Yaaaaaay.

Its time for breakfast.

Have a great day people of the interwebs. :)

TFLN = Texts From Last Night

2010-01-26T15:27:00.001-08:00

This may be the saddest thing I ever blog about, but I want to be/have the life of people who are posted on Texts From Last Night. I say some of the most ridiculous things sometimes and I just feel like it is the responsibility of my friends to post that stuff up there. Most likely I will never even know that it was even me, so unleash it all homies. Do it people. I am telling you I will not mind. Or if I do, we will have one hell of a good time reliving it. :) Woot.

Now that I have all of that out of the way, I am doing pretty well. I am soooooo excited for Rush Week in a couple weeks. It should be awesome. :) I can't wait to meet the new pledges and get involved! Its going to be awesome. I think the partying should be pretty rad as well. Its just so much fun. All the girls and guys are so nice and fun to hang out with.

New phone

2010-01-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

So thats my new phone. I thought a picture of it was in order. :) Now you can see it and love it. Its glorious!

Time for math, I am actually a little late, but I'm feeling a little slow this morning.

I cannot wait for it to be sunny out and warm, I will be more likely to take walks and get exercise because it is much to cold for me presently.

Bye bye people of the internets.

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

2010-01-19T16:40:00.000-08:00

Or like me, you always feel like a nut. :)

Alright, I like a guy. It has been a long while since I have, but I definitely do now. His name is Eddie and he's a nice guy. We text and I've hung out with him on a few occasions. He's funny and sweet. He remembered my birthday it was really nice.

Ok, so today is my birthday and it has been a pretty good day. My mom made me breakfast and it was delicious, I got to math early and was there for a little under 4 hours. I got bunches of birthday wishes from all my friends and it was great. :) I am going to dinner tonight with my parents, Michelle P and Michelle T at Sophia's so amazing Thai food is in my future. I never say this because I feel that religious people say it when they don't know what else to say, but I actually FEEL this way, I feel blessed to have the friends and family that I do. They are so great. :) I <3>

That is all I have for right now, I'm going to go say hi to my bro and Rachel before dinner. :) I have to bring Rachel my hair straightener because I do not use and she wanted one. Thats what friends do for each other.

Improvement

2010-01-11T23:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am a little late with the "New Years Resolution" blog, but I think I am still within the acceptable time limit. Not that I care about a time limit, I would post this in the middle of July and still call it a New Years Resolution blog, probably just because I am a punk.

I will simplify my thoughts into list form:

1. Get some form of exercise for 30 or more mins each day and maintain a diet that I can be proud of. More green things and less sugar. Whole wheat for white processed nastiness. Vegetables in place of snack foods and all the unhealthy things I love so because from this moment on I do not love them anymore. We are but acquaintances and nothing more.

2. Make more things instead of buying them. This is with the exception of the occasional Urban Outfitters awesomeness on clearance or a pair of Toms shoes or something like that.

3. Be more green with my hair care routine and makeup purchases.

4. Be more intentional with my words, so what if there are a few pauses in a conversation?

5. Write something on paper everyday, it can be a sentence, poem, epic ballad, journal entry, letter, anything, just put pen to paper. I want to feel the connection my brain and thoughts have to the world.

6. Throw myself into my school work. I am talking major student mojo here.

7. I want to be a better and more honest friend. If you are reading this Morgan, this is for you. I really sucked at being your friend towards the end though I hope that was not an end but more of an hiatus of a friendship which will be resumed eventually. Please take your time to think over things. If and hopefully when you decide what is best for you I will be there (or here depending on your perspective) ready to develop a new and improved friendship with you or give you all the space that I possibly can. I miss you.

8. Try things even if I don't know what is going to happen. I want to live in the moment and experience things with unadulterated curiosity. We shall see what kind of mischief I get myself into...this should be fun.

9. I will be more outgoing. No one can hurt me but myself, I need to remember that. Boys are not intimidating any longer and strangers? Piece of cake!

10. (B/c I felt odd leaving the list at 9 though I like odd numbers hmm...they've indoctrinated me with this orderly bull poo) I will take responsibility for my actions and mistakes I make. No more keeping my mouth shut, I will be loud and proud about owning my mistakes and I will learn from them. Patience also falls under this category I should think. I will maintain calmness whilst in a difficult and annoying situation...that will be a valuable life lesson.

Ok, so now I have the list. Yay! Now to act it out...I will start tomorrow morning because I'm tired right now and I have sleep to get tonight. Hope ya'll keep me accountable. :)

Nightie night.

Initiated!

2009-12-20T23:24:00.000-08:00

I'm officially a member of Kappa Sigma Delta and I love it! Its so nice to be bonded to a group of girls for life!

I've been working at McDonald's for almost a month now and its getting easier. I still get a little frazzled when there are big rushes of people, but I'm better.

I think with my next paycheck I'm going to buy a new phone and get on a plan. I really need to do it so its done with. Since thats pretty much all I have to worry about right now. I'm going to do it!

Hell Week

2009-12-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was pretty crazy. I was feeling stressed so I wanted to cut loose a little bit and i hadn't eaten a lot during the day so I decided that I could drink a little and have fun.

So that tank dress has not happened yet, but it will! I'm feeling Wednesday. :)

This week is Hell Week for my pledge class and myself. It shouldn't be too horrible because its meant to build bonds between my sisters and me. I don't know what they have in store though. Its a pretty scary prospect, not knowing. I hate it.

Tonight was the pledge knowledge final. I almost passed the first try, but I miss like 3 points too many, it was sad, but I aced it the second time. It was almost too easy. The hardest part was sitting still and quiet while they graded our tests. Everyone passed so we got presents, but don't you go thinking it was a good experience. There were some pretty embarrassing things in my "present". Though how I do love my big, Hannah! I love her dearly and with my whole heart.

Blood blood blood.

2009-11-30T15:30:00.000-08:00

I did this to my phone the other day and thought I would share it with ya'll. I'm trying to be more deliberate with my actions and more crafty and altering things I already own instead of buying everything new. I'm a big fan of patches, pin and appliques. I also am trying to sew more. I'm making a dress for a sorority event tonight. Its really quite simple. I already have the skirt portion and I'm just going to sew a tank and the bottom part together to make a tank dress then I'm going to put a funky belt on and my yellow clay beads that I got at the Indian Pow Wow I went to over the summer. It'll be great. The only thing that would make it better is if I had my Toms already.

Its Been Awhile...

2009-11-24T21:24:00.000-08:00

Lets see, what have I been up to lately.

Ridiculous amounts of yoga and it has been WONDERFUL. My relationship with my parents was good until tonight at 8:50 pm. My dad had a fucking meltdown because I said that something was not his business and that I was giving him attitude. He said that I am a guest in HIS house and said if I did not like it that I could leave. I'm just saying, but I do not think that one usually yells at a guest one has staying in their house. Maybe that is just me. We watched Some Like It Hot in my film class and it is a classic! It falls into the slim category of comedies that are timeless. I swear, you can watch it over and over and it will still be as funny as it was when you watched it first.

I work at McDonald's and have been for nearly 3 weeks. I got my first pay check and it was for $70. :) I felt so good for making my own money. I get paid again on Monday :) I have major crushes on at least 2 of my co workers, but one has a girlfriend. I'm learning how to do counter and I'm pretty good at assembling my own orders at the drive-thru. I like seeing all the different people that come through the drive-thru.

I am going to Roseville on Saturday with my mom for Christmas shopping. There's an Urban Outfitters store at the Galleria now! I love UO. I have a pretty significant wishlist on UO's website. I rock a sale, I must say. I have the usual things I like: a pair of sunglasses, an oversized bag, a men's messenger bag, a set of 4 coffee mugs on a holder, a scarf, some soothing goo for when I get a tattoo, a mustache ornament, and a hedgehog nail brush. I love them all. I'll have to check out the Galleria's website to see what stores they have now. I can't remember.

My mom made some reallllly good Moroccan stew with lamb tonight. It was super good. I made couscous to go with it and it was perfect, though I did figure out that I do not like parsnips. I gave them a shot, but they are not my cup of tea.

That is all for now.

Hired

2009-10-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

I am officially hired at McDonald's now and I am waiting for the manager to call me about my training schedule because the sooner that happens the sooner I can begin pulling a paycheck. :)

I now have a Big Sis through KSD. :) Its Hannah and she's really nice and in my Yoga class coincidentally. :) After we found out who our Bigs were we had a party and it was reallllllly fun. I met some new people and had a blast.

I bought my Halloween costume yesterday afternoon at Dracula's Closet, I'm going to be Batgirl. :) Its going to be awesome. I'm going to a TG party on Friday and then I'm going down to Sac for Mel's Halloween party. Its going to be soooooooo fun. I can't wait.

I have a rookie meeting at 7 and a test that I don't think anyone is ready for except maybe Chelsea because she always seems to be prepared for them. :) Go her. I'm prepared for a 4 am team building exercise if need be, but I hope that isn't necessary. I like to sleep in my own bed at reasonable hours like 10 pm or 1 am or 4 am. You know...all those decents hours that allow you to wake up feeling refreshed the next day and ready to tackle everything you need.

I'm going to study now so I don't fail completely.

Peace.

Mt Mike's

2009-10-13T09:54:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted an entry for a while and I thought I should.

I'm an official pledge for the Kappa Sigma Delta sorority in C-town, I'm trying to get the manager at McDonald's to call me back with a date for an interview and I'm going to see if Mt. Mike's is hiring or thinking about hiring. I also need to call Dutch Bros. and see if I can some how get them the application I filled out for the one in town. Its getting closer and closer to completion everyday and I need to get on that. In fact, I will do that right now while I'm waiting for the bus. :)

Peace out.

LMFAO

2009-10-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

I've never heard of that band (?). And I don't hate the way they sound. So thats good. :)

The last few days have been pretty crazy. Lots of sorority things and "elder" sitting and driving. I'm tired. This weekend didn't feel like a weekend. It felt like 5 weekdays squeezed into 3 days.

I'm so tired, but I'm happy that I passed my first sorority test 22/20.

I really don't have much to write about.

Peace out. :)

Friday & Saturday were fun. :)

2009-09-27T01:37:00.000-07:00

Friday - Blah blah blah, stuff happened during the day. I drove Morgan and myself down to the sorority house for a sleepover with the girls and it ended up not being the sleepover Morgan and I anticipated. There was memorization of songs, blindfolds, lack of sleep, bonding, a serenade for frat boy in the wee hours of the morning, a shot of wine, a certificate, a bottle of champagne, and newly acquired sisters!

Saturday - I got 2 1/2, maybe 3, hours of sleep that morning. Then I drove Morgan and I home where we went to sleep at 7 am and got up at 10:30 for Morgan and 2 pm for me. :) I've never slept that late! At 9 pm the sorority hosted a graffiti party where everyone (sorority members and their dates) wore light colored shirts and brought Sharpies and drew on the shirts of everyone whether you knew them or not. It was fun. There was alcohol and I told Mort that I would be designated driver if she wanted to drink. So she did and it was fun. On the drive home she was singing pretty loudly with a mix cd she'd made and was having lots of fun. I'm glad she enjoyed herself. It just shows that people do know how to have a good time without going overboard and that even an inexperienced drinker can know how much is enough and what is too much.

I'm In!

2009-09-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

You are reading the blog of a soon to be official pledge of Kappa Sigma Delta. Morgan and I just got the call like 15 mins ago by the president of the sorority. I'm so excited right now. The event for tonight is a sleepover with the girls so we can all hang out.

Last night's event was super fun too. All we knew is to wear white clothes that made us look nice and to be at the sorority house at 8:30 pm. We showed up and got changed there because we were early (I was wearing a white skirt with silver sequins, a white tank, my nude UO strappy sandals and a white button down shirt with ruffles that is totally! appropriate for a job interview) and we waited on the couches for the other girls to show up and then we were told that we were going to a social at the Phi Omega Delta frat house which was a new fraternity to basically the whole sorority. It was a little nerve wracking going to a frat that none of us had been to before, but after we got there and introduced ourselves (we went around the circle and said our names and then something that no one would know just by looking at us, I said that I like to weld)everything was pretty good. It was HOT in that house though. We played a game where we got fake money to bet people to do things with. A guy asked me to cluck like a chicken for $5 (fake dollars) and I totally did and everyone got super quiet and it was kind of embarrassing, but it was too funny for me to be embarrassed. That went on throughout the night and the KSD girls took pictures together and then we all took a picture together and it was super cute and really hard to take because there were like 30 or 40 of us all crowed and piled onto a couch and the surrounding floor space in front of the couch. Then Jen (the sorority president) called the social and it turned into a party. So from 11 -12 pm all the potential pledges could drink and then at midnight all the pledges had to leave.

It was fun. :)

Wait For Me Seductively...

2009-09-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

Morgan is such a goober. I think I'm going to go take a nap pretty soon on my yoga mat on the grass outside the library. I think that would be good. :)

We finished The Best Years of Our Lives and it was AWESOME! It made me happy, sad, mad, and every other kind of emotion that I could have felt...'cept fear. I was an emotional roller coaster and it was great.

Last night was the informational (like for reals this time) for the sorority. It was at Celistino's and it was more of an excuse to get together to eat pizza and salad than anything else. It was fun and I really like all of the girls...especially Emily and Mattie...they are so awesome...and Chelsey. She's cool too.

Tonight is a Balloon Blitz. I have a feeling there will be running and water balloons. I hope it's gonna be tons of fun. I'm sure it will be. I have to think of an outfit that will work for that. I think I have one already, just need to wear some cons and then it'll be all good.

I'm going to go now. The bus is coming soon, I'll write back later. :)

Peace.

Horror Movies By Myself=Not A Good Idea

2009-09-19T23:29:00.000-07:00

So today was pretty ok. Got home around 10:30 am and found a note for me to call McDonald's about the job I applied for and the woman I was supposed to ask for had left for the day so I left my information and I'm totally going to call on Monday if they don't call tomorrow. Then I took a shower and did/put away the dishes and cleared/made my bed. My dad got home at 1:30 and suggested that if I get bored I could rake leaves around the driveway (so not a suggestion...more like an informally delivered command) so I did that. I actually felt better afterwards and really sweaty, but a good sweaty. Dad asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart with him to pick up a birthday card and suspenders for his outfit...he really asked because he doesn't shop by himself or usually for himself and mom wasn't home so he asked me. We ran into my old Algebra and Geometry teacher and caught up with her for a little bit and then we came home and I read for a little bit and got on the computer and them mom got home and I was super excited and we chillaxed on the couch til they had to get ready for their party. They left around 6:30 pm and I made myself a little dinner (turkey and cheddar on wheat with Garden Salsa Sun Chips in the sandwich for some crunch....it was DELICIOUS) and watched the newest Drop Dead Diva (I love that show) and thought about watching the two newest Warehouse 13s, but decided against it. I settled for a horror movie. For reals, you'd think I would learn not to watch scary movies by myself but, alas, I never do. So I was watching Unearthed and it was like a B movie, very low budget, and it still freaked me out. I waited til my parents got home before even thinking of going to bed.

They said the birthday party was fun and I should hope so because they were gone for almost 5 hours. Mom said they'd be home by 10 pm, but I think she said that because she didn't know what to expect and probably just wanted to come home and sleep which is hopefully what she's doing right now because she looked like she was going to pass out when I gave her a hug. It was a little worrisome I'm not going to lie.

And honestly I feel like I'm going to pass out if I don't go to bed soon.

Peace out.

Blood & Mocktail Parties

2009-09-19T07:53:00.001-07:00

Gave blood and it was awesome except that I was there for 2 hours and it only took me 15 minutes to actually give blood. The shirt is really cool it says "Life is Unpredictable" and then it has 3 images underneath: a dinosaur skeleton running after a stick figure, a stick figure falling into a manhole and finally an alien space craft abducting a little stick man. Its pretty great. Oh, the only thing that sucked was that Michelle didn't show until I was done giving blood because she couldn't get out of her class. So that kind of sucked, but it forced me to make small talk with other people which went pretty well. So yay me. :)

The mocktail party was fun. All the alumni, active members and pledges got all dolled up and every single one of us was wearing a dress and they seemed very impressed by that. We played a name game where everyone was divided into two teams and two chairs were place facing each other and then a curtain was held up while one person from each team sat down and when the curtain was dropped the girl who said the other's name first won and the losing girl had to switch to the other team and whichever team had the most girls won. We also played another game with Mardi Gras beads. Each girl got two strings of beads and we were told that we couldn't say "sorority", "pledge" or "drink" and if anyone did and another girl called you on it you had to give them a string of beads for each word you said. That was fun too and Morgan won. :) We stayed til 11 or 11:15 pm socializing with each other and most, if not all, of the girls seem and were really nice.

I'm pooped and I have a lot of reading to do.

Peace out. :)

Butte Library

2009-09-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try to give blood with Michelle at 10 am in the LRC rm 116. I ate a good breakfast (or what I thought was a good breakfast; cinnamon Life with skim milk and an apple-cinnamon muffin that has a ton of fiber) and the only thing I think I'm missing is some water because I hate giving blood early because I don't have enough time to drink a ton of water. I think that might be what messed me last time because I was busy all day and didn't really have time to refill my water bottle so maybe I was a little dehydrated and my iron was low. I hope it isn't low today. I made sure to eat things that I thought had iron in them. I wish Morgan could be with us, but alas she doesn't get to campus til 11:50 am and that is just too late because she and I both have a class at 12:30 pm. I think she's either going to ditch her class or ask the teacher if she can be late...I think the latter is the way to go and I can't do that because I have Film as Lit and we're watching a movie and I haven't seen it so if I miss even a minute of it I won't understand the film properly and then I will be effed for the paper I have to write on it. I wonder when that is due anyway...maybe Mark will tell us today.

Michelle just gave me the deets of what's going down tonight. She's picking Morgan and myself up at at Morgan's house at 5:50 pm and then we're going to Market and then we're going to the sorority house to change into our pretty clothes and then she's driving us to where the party is going to be because she has to be there at 8 pm and then she's giving me the keys and we can go do whatever we want before the party starts at 8:30 pm and then hopefully Kara's giving us a ride home. I'm just a little worried about how we're getting home, but I'm sure it will work out for the best and if need be, we'll crash somewhere in Chico til tomorrow morning and really only Morgan is worried because she has class at 11 am. Its a good thing I told my mom that I'm spending the night at Morgan's.

I look like a hippie today. I'm wearing cut-off jean shorts, a tie-dye t-shirt, Birkenstocks with "Make Love Not War" socks, a hemp bracelet, a dolphin ring and I have earrings in both sets of piercings: one set is bright blue enamel posts and the other is thin silver hearts with texture that are really pretty...and my hair is lookin' pretty bangin' all ponytailed with my bangs put up in a faux pompadour (just a little one). It's pretty sweet. I think it looks like I used a Bump It, but I didn't because I don't believe in them. I just use the body (in my hair) that God gave me. I don't fake it like models and actresses and other people do. I like that my hair lies flat. And if I want to pump up the volume I'll braid it overnight and then let my hair have its crazy way with the world the next morning.

Its almost time to go give blood so peace out.

Mocktail Party Tonight

2009-09-17T06:43:00.000-07:00

So tonight is the sorority mocktail party and it should be super fun, but before all the fun happens let me just give what the rest of my day will be about: yoga, eastern religions for a quiz I'm not ready for, an hour and a half break in which I will give blood (or try) and write a paper, film as lit where we're watching The Best Years of Our Lives which is a wayyy good film and then after my classes are all done I have to go down to Chi-Town to pick up my mom's costume for a party she's going to and go shoe shopping for tonight and then I have to get back up to P-Town to take a shower and then drive over to Morgan's where Michelle is going to give us a ride to Market and then the party. And I was up at 6:05 am so I will soooo be in need of a nap which I'm fairly certain will not be in the cards for today, but a girl can dream.

OH, I learned how to play Oh Hell! last night. It is pretty fun. :)

Have to leave in a few mins so I can catch up on my eastern religions readings.

Peace out.

Existential Bliss

2009-09-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

Just kidding, but class didn't completely suck today and I'm really happy that I'm friends with Conor now. He's pretty fun to be around and he doesn't make me feel like he thinks I'm dumb. I like it. What I don't like is having to get up at 6 am...I will probably moan about this in every blog I post on a Monday or Wednesday. BUT, I'm excited about the mocktail event...so very excited! I also want dessert of some type now. I wish we had strawberries...that would be awesome.

I've decided that I'm going to take a break from the Abbey for at least this semester. I can only do so much and while I believe that what the Abbey is about is very important and potentially world changing, I need to think of me right now and where my life is headed and where I actually want it to be heading and I need a job and I need to focus on school and rushing Kappa Sigma Delta. All those things are incredibly important to me right now and I'm making a conscious decision to go after those specific things for the first time in my life. I think it shows that I'm growing and learning and getting better.

I watched Sunshine Cleaning the other day and it was a reallllllly good movie. I would recommend it to anyone reading this and even to others who aren't...if you can feel the vibe I'm sending your way then rent it and watch it and love it. :) It was funny and sad and maddening and awesome and beautiful and I thought the cast was good and my favorite character is the one-armed guy named Winston. He rocks!

Ceramics was good tonight. I didn't want to go, but I forced myself to and it was good because we learned some things about firing temperatures and glazing temperatures and I made a bowl and a little vase thing. I also put two little sake cups and a little cream pitcher in line to be fired so then hopefully on Wednesday I can glaze them and finally bring something home to show my parents and then on to the Abbey where I can show them.

I'm so tired tonight. I haven't actually done very much today, but I feel like I ran a marathon and swam 4 miles.

I have to schedule a physical for next week so I can get in to see my doctor and so he has an opportunity to see my face up close and personal to see if he'll refer me to a dermatologist so I can get my acne under control. I just want clear skin and then I'm good. Thats all I need. I just need a clean slate and then I'll keep it clear with whatever they tell me to and it'll be great. I think that will be a big confidence booster for me.

I need to read 100 pgs for my Existential Literature class by Wednesday so I'm going to read now before I go to bed.

Peace.

Paper Mache Sputnik

2009-09-13T20:08:00.000-07:00

My parents are going to a 50s themed birthday party for one of my dad's friends and he is determined to go as Sputnik so yesterday I helped him paper mache an exercise that will be the space craft and then he is going to spray paint the sphere and 4 dowels silver and I'm thinking a pair of black suspenders would be a good addition as well to keep it up. We have done two layers of paper mache and I think that at least 4 will be necessary to have the strength needed to stay together whilst at the party. I hope he takes pictures.

I'm reading Being and Nothingness by Sartre and it is waaaay heavy in the thinking department. I think my Existential Lit class is going to be way harder than I thought it would be. But I'm going to stick it out. Because I want to...and because I have to.

I have a mocktail social thing for the sorority on Thursday. :) It should be fun. It gives all the new potential pledges to get to know each other to help our pledge class become close with each other and not just with people we already know that are already sorority members. I have to go shoe shopping for it and I'm looking forward to it. Michelle is so excited that Mort and I are thinking of pledging she pretty much can't handle it. She couldn't stop smiling when she was driving us back to Mort's house last Wednesday because of the amount of girls that showed up. There were like 12. It was pretty great.

Thats all for now. :)

Peace.

Wednesday Night=Sorority Information Night

2009-09-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

Oh joy. I do not quite know how I feel about this yet, but I think Morgan would like me to be there and I know it will make Michelle happy for me to go and Amanda probably will not mind my being there too much either. I just hope that the "sisters" are not stuck up or meanly nice (you know, where you can tell they are only being nice because they: a) want something from you or b) they were told to be nice to you by their superior "sister" and you are not going to know how they really are until it is too late and you are already in), but I have met some of them a few times already so I am thinking that it should be fine. I just do not know if I like what sororoities stand for. I do think that is important to have female bonding and strong connections with other girls that can be your support when you really need it. But I also know that girls can be the meanest people in the world just short of dictators and Hitler and mass murders...that reminds me, I was curious about the Manson murders the other night so I looked it up online and then when I was helping my ma pick up the library bookdrop the other day I came across "Helter Skelter" a book about Charles Manson and the murders he got those kids to do for him.

Ok, it is now 11:37 pm and what I wrote previous to what I am writing now about the sorority should be disregarded. Though I am going to keep it in here so ya'll know what my opinion was before I went to the meeting tonight. The sorority is having a mocktail event next Thursday and I get to dress up (in my prom dress because it is the fanciest thing I own) and it should be fun. :) We played mildly dirty Jenga (pretty gifted with the Jenga) and Chubby Bunny (which I suck at) and we had name tags and for the last 20 mins we just socialized.

Let me start at the beginning of the night. I went over to Candace's this afternoon to hang out with Morgan and Lindsey and Stan (I accidentally called Ann and Starshine that yesterday evening to Joshua) and Morgan made this mac 'n cheese thing I made at the last communal meal I cooked at. I cannot decide if I like mine with the garlic or hers without better. I'm leaning towards without actually. So we sat down and had dinner and it was delicious and wonderful though I think I am becoming lactose intolerant because after I ate my stomach felt like it was in knots and I was having some digestive issues. Dinner was over around 7 and then clean up happened and I put on make up and put my bangs back and then Michelle showed up and we went downtown to Starbucks and she bought us coffee and she gave us a chance to ask questions because after we went to the meeting all the secret stuff was actually going to be secret so we asked a little bit and right when we were getting up to leave Sara, Race, Devin, Katie, Jordon, and Alicia came in so I caught up with a few of them and apparently was being a social butterfly (as Morgan called me) and then we went to the parking garage and drove to the sorority house. We got there and then we filled out an emergency contact info sheet and were called back one by one for an "interview" (which I thought was fun) and then we played games that got us pretty used to each other.

In short, my evening was fun though I do not look forward to getting up at 6:30 am tomorrow. I am just happy that I am driving tomorrow morning because I am bringing my mama's cardboard cutout of John Wayne to my film class tomorrow because we are watching Stage Coach and I could not resist the urge. :)

Good night and sweet dreams ya'll.

Hellboy II: Rise of the Golden Army

2009-09-07T22:17:00.000-07:00

I am getting a tragus piercing some time this year. It looks like this:

I have heard it hurts, but I really don't care. I really want it and after I get this done I think I will be done piercing my body. Then I will move on to saving up for a tattoo.

I henna for 40% off yesterday at Michaels and I am eager to try it out. I also bought a paper box to save money in and a bottle of bright blue paint. I am about halfway done painting the box and it is looking pretty great.

I spent the night at Morgan's on Thursday and Saturday and she spent the night last night and I had a blast with her. Morgan, my mama and I went to the Arc store in Chico to look for items that we could use for Halloween costumes, but I do not think we actually found anything for that purpose. Morgan found two sweaters and something else that I cannot quite remember and I got a wallet and my mom bought me a cool storage container. I do not know what else to call it other than that. I'll post a pic of it soon so maybe ya'll can help me with a way to describe it. Thanks. :)

Some negative things happened this weekend with parties not including myself so I will not go into detail. It has to do with someone drinking too much, an ambulance, the ER, parents, and blowing a 2.08 in a breathalyzer. It was crazy and pretty much epitomized the reason I do not drink. I will never drink Jungle Juice, I vow that right now. It is a nasty concoction that was a stupid idea to begin with because the ridiculous amount of alcohol that is in it is masked by the Hawaiian Punch concentrate. Whatever, it just makes me want to drink even less.

Class have been going well, I really like my Yoga class. I may even love it. :) I actually like not having places to go all the time and just chilling with one friend at a time. It is nice. I applied at Kmart, so we'll see where that goes. I also plan to apply at the Dutch Bros. in town.

I've been thinking about my role in the Abbey and that it just changed recently. I am no longer the Abbey cook. And now there is absolutely no order to the communal and prayer meals. I don't have to email anyone anymore and no one knows what anyone else is bringing. I feel like there will be a lot of side dishes and a lack of meat. We may go vegetarian purely involuntarily. All I know is that I will definitely be bringing a loaf a french bread to ever meal because that is about all I can afford. Once I can afford more, I will probably move on to pasta salads and then pasta dishes (side dish portions) and then once in awhile I will swing a dessert though now I know that Summer really likes to make desserts so I may just let her handle that the whole time, but I am just playing it by ear right now. The first meal we are going to be trying this method out on in Tuesday prayers at Garth & Barb's house. I hope there is enough food. I'm just worried I guess. I do not like something this free form...and I'm like the patron saint of free form things. I do not know.

It is bed time for me. Have to get up at 6 am tomorrow morning.

OH, my mom is going to the doctor (nothing to be worried about, just a routine physical) and she is going to ask our doctor about what we can do about my skin. I am sick of having acne and I think my confidence would go through the roof if my face was clear. I can handle being overweight because in the U.S. I am pretty much the average, but having a acne-infested face is not acceptable and I thought I would grow out of it, but that does not seem to be happening. We shall see what the good ole doctor says.

Nightie night.

Hitchhikers

2009-09-02T15:40:00.001-07:00

I picked up my first hitchhiker today. It was a high schooler named Carson...I felt bad because it was so hot out and he was walking so I offered to give him a ride and I'm pretty sure that he's related to this guy named TJ that I know from school.

That is all.

Last run down of classes, I promise. :)

2009-08-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

Monday/Wednesday:

12:30-1:50 pm Existential Literature = Antongiovanni. She is very nice and I am looking forward to the class. :)

6-8:50 pm Beg Ceramics = Can't remember the professor's name. She seems to be a bit of a scatter brain, but as long as I keep my head down and listen and try to do something with the clay I should get an A.

Tuesday/Thursday:

8-9:20 am Yoga = Fairchild. This class is going to be awesome. I will have longer learner muscles at the end of the semester.

9:30-10:50 am Eastern Religions = Burgan. She has 2 bachelors, 2 masters and a doctorate and she is writing a book about the Mayan calendar.

12:30-1:50 pm Film As Literature = McKinnon. Seems awesome and realllly into his field which is totally refreshing and he appears to have given great thought to what actually helps students learn and what is a bleeding waste of time. I look forward to getting to know him and doing my best in his class.

Today Joshua called me and said that the meal location was being changed or cancelled and we ended up deciding on moving it to Garth & Barb's house. When I got there Barb was out walking their dog so I helped Garth set the plates, cups, forks, knives, spoons, napkins, salad, salad dressings and salad bowls out for the meal and then Barb got back and then Jason and Julissa showed up and then Rachel and Kenny and then finally Joshua made it and at that point I was just happy to see him so I gave him a huge hug and he said that it was the kind of day where that was needed. I cooked spaghetti, made tomato sauce and warmed garlic bread in the oven. We all dished up and sat at the table, we were packed in Italian family style which is the way I prefer to eat actually. Then we had meditative prayers and I fell asleep in a humorous manner and Jason, Rachel and Garth laughed at my expense (punks! :P). Then we had pan dulces which were delicious and I was proud I could pronounce it. :) And then I came home and got ready for bed and now I'm in bed and totally ready to go to sleep.

Anyhoo, pretty much today was the best day I've had in a long while.

Peace out.

Beg Ceramics

2009-08-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

Should be a pretty good class. My old art teacher, her name is Janel, is in my class and she's super nice. :) Annnnd, there are a few cute boys and the teacher is nice, but totally spacey. She's a nut. Hopefully a good nut.

I have to be at the bus stop tomorrow morning at 7 am, which is actually better because last semester I had to be there at 6:48. I know that is only 12 minutes, but to me its a lot. Though I still have to get up at 6 am which kind of sucks.

Peace out lovelies. :)

First day of classes for this semester!

2009-08-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

Today has been pretty glorious thus far. I've only been to one class (Existential Literature) and it was awesome! I'm looking forward to reading all the required books and discussing them and I like that a lot of the work in class is personal...in a journal that my professor will read by-weekly. Prof Antongiovanni requested that we buy our books from Lyon's Books in Chico because it is one of the last independent book stores that sells new books and she really wants to support local economy. I agree with her about that so I'm going to go down on Thursday and scout prices. Hopefully they will be on the decently cheap side of things. I still have Beg Ceramics to go to because it is a night class (starts at 6 pm and goes to 8:50 pm) so I 'm looking forward to it. I should actually leave in a few minutes to make sure I get down there and find a parking spot so I can be on time to class.

Peace!

(I'll write more later, don't you worry your pretty little heads about a thing!)

I don't want to take out the trash...yuck.

2009-08-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty ok. Sunday school, socializing with the congregation, eating an EPIC sandwich at home with my mama and having an hour and a half nap. Then for youth group Joshua, Summer, the kids, Rachel, Alyson, Danielle, Kat, Dylan and myself went swimming down at Dean Rd. I had never been there before so the hike/trek down was pretty exciting for me. Especially because there was actual like natural rock climbing involved and I didn't fall or die, though there were instances where I thought maybe both were going to happen. I think next time I'll definitely go swimming. It was pretty crowded at the spot we went to, but everyone seemed to be super nice (though I don't think it hurt that we had Ethan, Karis and Lucy with us). It was super fun. :) I didn't actually go swimming, but I watched them all go, so that was nice.

I always forget how much I like hiking until I do it. It is just so much fun and I feel closer to nature and I feel pretty strong when I climb up big rocks or make it up a super steep hill without dying.

Then I came home for dinner and mama and I ate together whilst watching a spot of tv and then I got ready for my first day of class this semester. :) I printed out a copy of my schedule for my mama and myself and checked the bus schedule just to make sure that I would be catching it at the right time.

I'm going to bed now.

Peace.

Last night staying out super late

2009-08-22T00:33:00.000-07:00

It was super fun. I went to Michelle's around 10 pm, when I got there Michelle, Dave and Alex (Stanton) were in Michelle's car waiting for me to get in so we could go to the video store. We went to All The Best Video and took advantage of the 5 for $10 deal. We got Ocean's 11, Anaconda: Offspring, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: The Movie, Disturbia and Underworld. To figure out what who got to pick the first movie we were going to watch we played Munchkin. Dave won, so we watched Underworld. Then we went down to Chico to Jack's and we were there til 3:30 and then Michelle, Amanda and I drove back home by way of Honey Run. After we got home we watched Anaconda: Offspring which is probably the worst movie ever. The snakes were so fake and the blood that squirted was totally unrealistic. Then I went to bed on the floor in Michelle's living room and proceeded to drool all over my pillow.

Also, I was going to go to my friend's wedding, but she pushed it back at the last minute. I'm pretty disappointed.

I"m going to go eat lunch.

Peace out.

Makin' brownies for dessert tonight

2009-08-21T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just saw Taylor Swift's video for You Belong With Me. Its cute. I just decided that I don' t like Katy Perry anymore. I like her fashion sense sometimes, but she's just way too over the top MOST of the time.

I have a new favorite poem, it is buy E.E. Cummings.

I Carry Your Heart With Me

I carry your heart with me

I carry it in my heart

I am never without it

Anywhere I go you go, my dear;

And whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling
I fear no fate for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world for beautiful you are my world, my true
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(Here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

I love it so much. :)

I'm hungry, it is snack time. :)

Peace out.

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrl, that face you got is rih-dic-ih-lous!

2009-08-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

Can I have yo numba? Can I have it? Some guys can't handle the regalness of an up-do, but I respect it. You got that ponytail going ON!! I love that video. :)

Tonight was very fun, though I got a bit of a late start because of the smogging, but it all turned out ok in the end. I watched Book of Shadows: Blair Witch Project 2 because Jeffrey Donovan from Burn Notice was one of the main actors. It was pretty much a horrible movie, but it scared me, so I suppose it did what it set out to do. So maybe, in the movie's eyes, it was a good/decent movie....who knows? Ok, list of places I went tonight: Market, the Plaza, Celestino's, Ryan's house, annnnnnnnnd that Mexican restaurant where Taco Bell used to be. I can't spell it, so if you know where I'm talking about that is great and if you don't it is ok.

I'm so tired right now.

Peace out.

Queen Sized...I love Nikki Blonsky

2009-08-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

Rachel's birthday party was last night and it was a lot of fun. Morgan called to ask if I could give her and Candace a ride so I went over to their house for dinner and afterwards we took off for the party. I was happy to see the amount of people that showed because she hadn't seen many of them in quite a while. I thought that was one of the best presents she could have gotten. The party went a good hour and a half past when Rachel thought it should/would end. :) People were just having too good of a time.

I think it's time for some lunch. :)

Peace out.

OH, and I have a hardcore load of chores to do. Yay me! NOT.

2009-08-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

I think I would like to be called Ace from now on. I think that would be a good thing. I realllllllllly want macaroni and cheese super bad. I should go get the mail...and I wonder if Kenny asked Rachel to drive him the 3 mins to the DMV. That would be awesome. Alright, I totally covered the whole Kenny thing.

I need to take a shower, wash my car, clean out the trunk, and make Rachel a birthday card. AND I haven't actually gotten her present yet because I haven't had time or money or gas to get down to Chico for just that one thing. Thats what sucks about not having a job...I don't have money to get gas and do things I want to all the time. Sometimes I have to wait for when my mom is going down to Chico or when Ryan is up here and is going down there.

Anyhoo, I have things to do and people to see.

Peace out.

Yahtzee!

2009-08-17T22:42:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty chill. Watched Flipping Out with my mom for like 4 hours (not my proudest moment, but I swear it sucks you in) and then cleaned my shower and the microwave and got the mail. After that I went to Candace's house for dinner around 5 or so and we had spaghetti pie which was DELICIOUS with homemade rolls that were hot out of the oven. Omg. They were sooooo good with honey. And then I watched a little Bones with Candace's parents and then Candace, Lindsey, Morgan and I played Yahtzee. I kicked their butts and then Morgan went to bed and then Lindsey, Candace and I played again and I kicked both their butts again. I just pwned them. It was a terrific moment. After both games they were feeling pretty low so they both got ready for bed and I drove home. And now here I am, in bed, getting ready to go to sleep. I just set the alarm clock for somewhere around 7 am. I'm not sure though. :)

Peace out.

2009-08-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

House sitting was fine, I got paid $35 so thats good. The couple came home early which was cool so I went over to Candace's house but she and Morgan went to the movies with Meesh and Amanda. So I just chillaxed with Starshine and Ann and then Lindsey got back from dinner with her bf Nick. So it was good times. :)

I'm going to bed now.

Peace out.

Hedgehog Hoodie

2009-08-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

I want to make a hedgehog hoodie. I totally think that would be awesome. Just saying.

I'm sitting in Sheryl-the woman I'm house sitting for-'s computer room listening to music on Pandora, eating spinach and cheese ravioli (I want to make my own) and drinking water out of a mason jar (my favorite cup of sorts). It is bliss! I love it. I personally think Ryan and Joshua totally overreacted when they we concerned about me house sitting in Chapmantown. I think its actually a pretty nice place. You know, it's a typical neighborhood and I'm sure there are gangstas or whatever they were concerned about, but I haven't done anything to make myself stand out and I feel safe here. I guess I just have a positive outlook about people until they do something to alter the way I see them.

I'm going to go watch Sideways now because it was due at the library a couple days ago. I also have to go round up the chickens and let the dogs out to pee. :)

Peace out.

Different version of The Lord's Prayer...

2009-08-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

...I really like it. I got it from Sarah Montoya...I love that girl.

It goes like this:

Our Redeemer in heaven,

Reconciler is your name,

May your Peace come, your desire be done,in all nations as it is in your presence,

Provide every stomach the sustenance needed, food and water,and teach us to be grateful for enough,

Forgive us our judgment and humble us to love others,

Lead us not into indifference,

Rescue us from pride,

For Thine is the presence, hope and the renewal, for all timeforever and ever

Let it be so

Hope ya'll like it too.

"Hey, buttface. Way to not answer your phone when you're out of town. This the J-Dog"

2009-08-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

I went to over to Candace's house early yesterday and she, Morgan and I watched Coraline which is probably one of the creepiest animated movies of all time. I mean it's a Tim Burton film, so I was expecting a level of creepiness, but it was just creepier than I was anticipating. Candace, Morgan and I are getting along pretty fine these days which is good. I'm not expecting miracles or anything, but it seems to be better. Market was pretty fun, I saw lots of people that I knew and hadn't seen in a long time. I also met some people that Ryan knew and they ended up being pretty cool. Michelle, Sierra, Morgan and I went to In'N Out and got some foooood which was delicious and I ate all the pickles that people didn't want because I love me some pickles. :) Then we went driving for like an hour. It was super fun. And then we went to One Mile, but no one wanted to go swimming and there were lots of people whistling so we thought that maybe there were gang members hanging out there in full force and it was just the 4 of us girls and Morgan, Michelle and Sierra were kind of freaked out, but then Sierra was kind of insulting some of them pretty loudly and I was really kind of annoyed and I got quiet. Then we went driving again and I felt a little better. Anyhoo, I got home from driving Candace and Morgan home from the Thursday night market at 2 this morning. And then I got up at 7:30 am because I'm awesome.

My day was pretty good otherwise. I watered all the porch plants and cleaned dishes that were in the sink so when my dad gets home he'll see an empty sink that will make his heart happy or something. He said something about that this morning to me. I don't know. Then I really just sat around and read and was on the computer for a while and then my mom got home and we watched a little tv and I took a shower and came over to the Abbey to cook the meal which I wrote about below:

Dinner turned out pretty well tonight. There was actually more than enough chicken, which doesn't usually happen all because Joshua felt ripped off when he tried to buy just 1 lb of chicken so he bought 3...lucky for me. :) I made parmesan chicken strips, broccoli, mashed potatoes, salad and french bread. No dessert, though I think Fridays had leftover cake that they brought it over and I totally forgot about it -slash- didn't know if I could use it.

I'm tired. And I seem to be taking things even more personally than I usually do lately. Even things that are meant well and that people who love me are not resonating well with me. I don't understand why people can't just be nice and they feel the need to be ass-hats and jerks and punks. I don't understand. And I'm feeling really old lately too. I don't like the stupid humor like Step Brothers and stuff like that.

Ok, I'm going now. Summer, Joshua, Jason, Julissa and Rachel are being loud and crazy.

Peace out.

Shopping and my first time in an Urban Outfitters store. :)

2009-08-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

It was GLORIOUS. Though I'm pretty sure I've never seen hiring with stereotypes in mind as clearly illustrated as in that store. It was pretty ridiculous. The girls were all skinny and indie-ly dressed and the guys were skinny, wore girl pants and looked kind of grungy (long product-induced greasy hair and slouchy beanies). But they were all nice to me so I suppose that made up for it. OH! But the store itself was AWESOME! It looked pretty industrial with lots of wood crates around and its two stories with the women's on the bottom and men's/apartment things are upstairs and there were cement floors. It was neato burrito. :)

Anyway, I got basics for this semester including a couple tank tops, a couple shirts, yoga pants, a silver cuff, supa cheap sunglasses and a scarf. This is going to be a good semester, I am sure of it. I am totally prepared. :)

Thursday night market tonight and I am excited. :D

Talk to you later.

Peace out.

Council meeting notes for me tonight...

2009-08-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Here is what I am submitting as the Abbey "report" for the month:

1. Our continual tending of the garden behind the Abbey...it is beginning to look like a proper garden.

2. Joshua & Summer's garden in their back yard is doing well too, their corn is looking amazing!

3. Heather (me :]) is still the Abbey "cook", preparing the meals on Tuesday and Friday nights and she is enjoying it quite a bit.

4. Rachel's art class is still going on and will be for another week and she has a few devoted kids and then a few that fizzle in and out. She is breaking the class into sessions to keep kids and parents from taking the class for granted and keeping them interested and to give herself a break from teaching so she can be creative in a less stressful way. Her next session will begin in the fall around October-ish.

5. Joshua is looking to make woodworking his thing to learn and then if he feels confident enough to teach someone else he'll start offering to make things for people or teach people.

6. We are still thinking of selling or giving our produce away when it is mature at the Paradise Thursday night farmer's market.

7. Tuesday night prayers have kind of morphed from a liturgical kind of service to a more contemplative prayer format to assist in our shedding of our dualistic minds. :)

8. The Abbey website is still up and running along with Joshua's blog, which he has decided to include more than just his thoughts about what he's reading.

9. The living room is pretty much done and looking like a real living room that people actually use...yay! There are just a few more "homey" touches that we need to finish like hanging art on the walls and figuring out a more aesthetic method for storage.

10. We are still doing what we can to help at Friday's for Lunch.

11. Each member of the Abbey is trying to visit with an elderly person/shut in once a week.

12. Kenny and Rachel are thinking about painting their rooms next month.

13. There are hushed whispers of an Abbey open house which would consist of a demonstration of one of our services from Tuesday nights and a social bbq. :)

There you go. :)

Pharisees, The

2009-08-10T22:57:00.001-07:00

Rachel was just telling me that the Pharisees believed that their Messiah was not coming because everyone was too sinful and that was why they hated adulterers, drunkards, lepers and pretty much everyone that Jesus helped. Hearing that we realized that they don't seem to be such douche-packers. Granted, they didn't exactly deal with their hatred toward sinners/disappointment that everyone couldn't be better so the Messiah could come so well, but they were really just doing the best that they could with their cultural teachings and the knowledge they possessed.

I have also made a decision to write about what I am reading in my blog as well, it seems to be the obvious thing to do and I am surprised I did not think of it sooner. Silly me. I'm reading A Year of Living Biblically which I find to be an interesting book because I feel like I have been right there with him every biblical step of the way. He started the book Agnostic and as he progresses further into the Bible and thus living biblically I cannot help but feel the changes he is feeling as well. I have a new found respect for the Bible and the people who believe in its message and writings. I have realized that I was rather judgmental of those people before and really all they need is a chance to be themselves and they are very nice people.

I saw Sam, Christian and Tristan tonight. I was about to pull out of the church parking lot when I saw their car pull into their little driveway and I decided it was time for me to see them. So I drove across the street and said hi to Christian and he lead me into the house and I saw Sam and she was pretty shocked (and I would like to say happy) to see me and then I saw Tristan. He has gotten HUGE!!! He is taller Lucy I am pretty sure. He has tons of hair, can hold his own bottle, stand by himself (still a little wobbly, but still) and he is starting to talk! :) It was amazing to see him again after a few months. I feel like I have missed years of his life and he is not even a year old yet. I am determined to be in his life more and I will hang out with Christian and Sam more often also. I told Sam I would come over again this week, well honestly I said Wednesday, but I forgot that I am going to Roseville with my mom that day so I will have to tell Sam that and then come over on Thursday instead. :) I'll figure it out. They seem to be doing pretty well. Sam is working a lot and being a mom for Tristan, Christian is doing the music thing and being a dad and together I think they all just want sleep. I know I would if I was in their situation.

I am so tired right now. Going to bed now.

Baskin Robbins is a devil corporation

2009-08-10T17:10:00.000-07:00

Seriously. They tease people with their flight risk ice cream flavors that could be there forever or for 5 mins. My mom is deliriously in love with the Apple Pie a la Mode they had last year (she ate 2 pints of it basically by herself) and they haven't had it since they discontinued the flavor a month after it showed up. I am sooooooo boycotting them except for when I give blood and they give me a Pint for a Pint coupon. Then I'm getting ice cream and feeling good for myself.

Julie & Julia=gooooooood movie!!

2009-08-10T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am inspired to do something with my life. I think in October I'm going to begin cooking my way (as Amy Adams did in the movie and Julie did in real life) through Julia Childs' Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I do not think I am going to give myself a deadline though because the upcoming semester at Butte is beginning on the 24th of this month and I need to focus on my course load and getting all my work done. I'm going for all A's this semester. :)

I am going to scour local used book stores for Childs' book and when I find it, the first first thing I am going to make is boeuf bourguignon. I will take a picture and tell you how it goes.

I am watching Chefography: Tyler Florence.

Peace out.

Blueberry muffins are delicious, FTW!

2009-08-09T23:11:00.000-07:00

I have several new sparks of interest now: Warren Xevon, Wendell Berry, Rich Mullens and Wayfarer sunglasses.

Today was a pretty good day. I should have napped, but I've done quite well for myself I think.

I'm gonna go do stuff now and my mom's ordering stuff from Amazon tomorrow or the next day. :)

Peace out!

Dirty Jobs: Jobs That Bite...Harder!

2009-08-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

I went to the farmer's market in Chico this morning with my mom and it was awesome! We bought strawberries, kale, cherry tomatoes, potato samosas and sunflowers. I love walking around the market just looking at what everyone has to offer. I also love the "basket man", but he wasn't there this morning. I missed him. I wanted to buy a basket from him, but it'll have to be next week. I hope he's ok.

My mom and I are bargain QUEENS, seriously, we are. We went to JC Penny and bought 1 half cami, 2 reg camis, 1 pair underwear and a bra...we paid $34 for all that! We rock a sale/coupon/use every money saving method known to man. Thats how we roll. :)

I'm in love with threadbanger.com. It is one of my favorite website fo reals. :) :) So many good ideas.

I saw Ryan's new house and it is super cute. :) The front is cute with a little fence and a circular planter with a tree in it and the door is painted a pretty blue color. Ryan's roommate is super cute as well. :) Her name is Katie and she has the cutest dog! Its a Chihuahua and usually I don't like them, but he's just soooooo cute I can't handle it. I'm going to be spending some time down there to get to know them better. I hope Ryan can find 2 more roommates so he can stay there. That'd be great, I'd like to be able to stay there every once in a while.

I'm going to go now.

Peace.

I was labeled the "long shot" and I feel like the long shot

2009-08-07T15:13:00.000-07:00

I finished my chores and now I'm watching Project Runway season 1. Its such a learning experience for me because I get to see how clothes are made and little tricks that can be used. I love this show.

I really like the name Kara Saun for a name possibility of my future daughter. I like the way it sounds.

Soooo, Market last night...didn't actually get there til 8 because I was Ryan's new house meeting his roommate and seeing his digs and waiting for Ryan to meet a new possible roommate. And I think everyone was just feeling off last night, 'cept for maybe Morgan, Wes and Candace. BUT, I did start feeling better around 10 or so. After we all hung out Ryan, the Daniels, James, Colleen and myself went back to Colleen's boyfriend's apartment to watch Hellboy 2 and it was good. :) Daniel's roommate's girlfriend came in with a few of her friends and they were DRUNK. Like super drunk, they were loud and this one girl asked who picked the movie and she kind of shouted that she loved me and then we had a mini conversation about Ron Pearlman and how awesome he is and what he's been in. It was just so funny because I was chillaxing on a comfy chair and then she was all in my space speaking pretty loudly and then they all got up, shouted some apologies for being so loud and then they slammed the door and locked it and were gone.

I need to dry my hair and buy the chicken for orange chicken tonight. See ya'll later. :)

Peace out.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

2009-08-06T11:25:00.000-07:00

I'm officially the lamest person in the world. I'm watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and I really want to have a "sisterhood". I want to have a a few SUPER good friends that are there for me through thick and thin and that don't judge me whatever is happening. I know I have that already with Joshua and Summer and Rachel, but I want it with girls. I want girl best friends. I want to travel/road trip to new places with them and share experiences with them and be there for them when they are down or something bad happens or their life is bottomed out, I want to be able to help them through it. I just want what they have in the movie.

I don't understand what's up with this weather. It's cloudy and way cooler and its dark looking outside. When I woke up this morning Its not summer weather and it has only been 5 hours of this weather, but I already miss the sunshine. I like the day to be hot and the night to cool off a bit and I like to be able to go swimming and I like to sweat a bit and hang out with friends in the sunshine. I like to wear sunglasses and shorts and I like the way my hair gets lighter and my arms a little tanner and they way my toes look in my flip flops.

I have to go now. I have things to do.

Red blood cell count=36 Not enough to give blood, but enough to live

2009-08-05T22:19:00.001-07:00

I tried to give blood today and my little blood droplet just couldn't sink quick enough. So the woman squeezed more blood out of me and put it in the centrifuge and told me that my iron was just a little too low to give blood, it was a 36 and I needed a 38 or something. So, I have to eat my dark leafy greens, red meat, watermelon, broccoli and spinach and come back again in 2 weeks and try again. She said that my iron level was within normal ranges so I shouldn't be worried or anything and that woman take a little longer sometimes to replenish their red blood cells. I was so disappointed that I couldn't give blood. The woman sent me up to the refreshment tables anyways and they gave me a hotdog and I ended up sitting next to Logan who was in my AP English class senior year. I hadn't seen him in a year or so and we talked for a min or two and I overheard that his brother had a temperature of 99.2 and they wouldn't let him give blood. They are getting pretty finicky about donors these days, but its their privilege to be able to do so. I'll just improve my diet and exercise to keep my blood pumping and try to donate in a couple weeks...it's all good.

I ordered my books for this semster and the total was $69.24 including shipping, but I still have to buy another book for my philosophy class thats another $32 so it'll be just over a hundred for everything. Oh, and the $69.24 also included and yoga mat and a mat handle-strap thing. :)

I belly danced to a tv program called Shimmy for an hour today and it was actually pretty fun, I mean I couldn't do all the moves, but it was still fun and I ended up sweating a little too, so that was cool. I even walked laps around my living room during the commercials.

My mom and I are going to Roseville on Monday because she has some shopping she wants me to do and she got me to go because there is an Urban Outfitters store there and I've never actually been IN their store, just online. I'm pretty excited about that. I'm sure I won't buy anything, but even just actually being in the store will be a magical moment. :)

Peace out, I'm getting up early tomorrow. Going for a walk and seeing my mom before she goes to work. She likes it when I'm up before she leaves, I mean it can be a minute before she leaves, but if I'm up she totally has a better day. I don't know why.

Love ya'll.

New hat that makes me feel like I'm a Rastafarian and should be at a music festival/living in the 70's...

2009-08-02T23:34:00.001-07:00

basically the best hat ever!!!! Thank you Rachel!! I will wear it with pride when its cold outside.

The adult forum this morning was pretty crazy. I had no idea that Alan had written 4 books or that he was such a conspiracy theorist. What he said about the U.S. having an oligarchy running the show from behind the scenes made sense, but when he delved into the whole "9/11 was an inside job" it was a little less believable for me, but the evidence he provided was pretty strong I thought.

Church was awesome today or I thought it was. Maybe I was just in a church mood, but I reall thought about all the people there and I realized I really love them. I love every single member of the church from the ones that I don't think like me to the ones I know hate the Abbey to the ones I know love me. I love them all.

After church was over Rachel and I hung out, made lunch (which was Sweet Garlic Chicken, rice and watermelon) and she finally showed me my finished hat! Its amazing, but she took it back to show her sister so I can't put a picture up yet, but its coming...don't you worry about a thing.

No one showed up for youth group this afternoon, but it was nice to have a pretty chill time where I could just be happy with being surrounded with people I love and I didn't feel pressured to say anything. It was really nice. I am sad that no kids showed up because I had this awesome idea of making kebabs and Rachel and I prepped them and no one ever ate them, so I think Joshua and Summer made them for dinner for themselves and the kids. Lucy has been all love-y to me lately. I love it, though it especially happens when I'm in the bathroom...she pounds on the door and yells "Heather!" That girl's a nut.

I had dinner at home tonight and it was delicious. We had lemon-pepper pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes and corn. Omg, it was delicious. :) Then I made a little sundae with vanilla ice cream, sliced strawberries and a little bit of dark chocolate sauce. Soooooo good. :)

Michelle was going to spend the night tonight, but her mom said that she'd been out too much this week so it was a no-go. I was incredibly sad, but she's coming over tomorrow to help me clean everything I own. I'm excited about that.

I really quite miss Julissa and Santiago. I hope they're having fun in Florida visiting her sister and the new baby. :) I miss you!!!

Ryan moved out on Saturday and he's all moved into his apartment down in Chico. I'm jealous, but that means I have a place to crash now when I'm too tired to drive Cynthia Marie back up to Paradise. I can't wait to see what it looks like and worst case scenario, if I get kicked out of my house for some reason (and I really don't see that happening), I can crash there/maybe become his roommate which would be AWESOME. I love Ryan. He's my homeboy, sure sometimes he pisses me off and I want to chop off his head, but above all I love him and he is my friend.

I talked to Colleen about Chris and she gave me the low-down (or at least what she knows about him). I'm not going to tell ya'll, but I just thought you should know. Oh, she said that when we were all in In'N'Out and she said that she liked my hair clip he said that he liked me hair all quietly. :) Isn't that like the cutest thing you've heard?!

OHhhhh, Mike's not moving this month like I thought he was. Apparently he's not moving til next year. I don't know why his moving plans have been postponed, but I thought a Mike update would always be good because he messed me up so bad, but I'm good now.

I think I'm going to make enchilada casserole Tuesday night. I'm feeling that.

Night.

Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon

2009-08-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been pretty crazy and lacking in the sleep. :) But they've been worth it.

Thursday = Finished sewing the bean bags, made the September calendar and a movie flyer for my mama at the library, then I went down to Chico for the Thursday Night Market and it was AWESOME. Ryan and I met up and then we found Wes and Morgan listening to Kyle Williams and then Colleen called me and she, Chris and her brother Daniel (not her boyfriend Daniel) found us and then we saw Sierra and her friend Ian and they joined us and we all walked around. Ryan and I went to Starbucks because it was friggin' hot and we ran into Candace, Olivia and Talia. It was crazy. We picked up Candace (Olivia and Talia went somewhere else).

After we were done with Market we went to In'N Out because we were all super hungry. I'm pretty sure I had the best time I've ever had there that night. :) I also found out that hacky sacks are realllly fun to play with.

We went to One Mile for swimming (of course :P) and it was super fun. :) Michelle met us there and pretty much all of us swimming and it was fun. :) Whenever I go to One Mile I'm in the water for at least 2 hours. I'm usually the last person out of the water.

Morgan and I are getting to where we used to be. I forgot how nice it was to have her in my car driving places. :D Everyone that night was getting along so well and I didn't have to try. I didn't feel like I had to be Funny Heather I just ended up being funny incidentally. I really like when I can just be me and not have to try to be something for other people.

Friday = went to the library to help my mom with a kids program party (I brought the cake and ice cream from our house and took pictures). It was fun, I was kind of in a funk at the beginning but after a little while I just let go of my bad mood and had fun with it. Rachel totally did a good job with her face painting. I thought everyone looked pretty awesome. :) She didn't give herself enough credit. After the party I went home to put the dishes away and took a shower and headed over to the Abbey. I made tacos for dinner and we ate at 5 so it was just Joshua, Barb, Kenny and I that ate because Summer was dropping the kids of at VBS and Rachel was working and so was Jason. I left the meal at 5:50 to get to Candace's house because she was throwing Morgan a surprise birthday party. It ended up being a blast!! We had mini sirloin burgers and went down to the observatory (which was pretty much the coolest thing ever) and then we all came back to Candace's house and I went home because I was really tired, but I think some people spent the night.

Saturday = I cleaned my room (its pretty beautiful), bought film for my new camera, put gas in my car, paid my rent to my mama, and hung out at home. I thought it was be nice if I was home for a whole day for once. I haven't been in a long time.

I have less than a month to get a job if I want to move into the Abbey. I don't understand why it takes so long. I just want a job. I turned in my application at the video store and the woman said that her husband had already interviewed someone and was training her, but if she didn't work out she was keeping my application on file. I was like, "Why did you tell my mom that you were hiring the day before I turned in my application if you already had someone?!" I mean really, who does that? That woman is a punk, a nice punk, but stilll a friggin' punk. I have to check in at Coffee's On before noon so I can ask one of the managers when he thinks they'll start interviewing. I really need to know and apparently no one in the whole place knows 'cept that guy because they "aren't in charge of it". I think it'd be funny if I applied for unemployment. I mean seriously.

Michelle's coming over tomorrow to help me get rid of a bunch of my shit. Mostly clothes I think. I really need to downsize whether I move into the Abbey in September or not. It would just be a good thing. I really have too many clothes anyways. It couldn't hurt.

I bought a dress on sale that doesn't fit me now, but its my goal dress. I'll be happy-ish when I can fit in it. Its SUPER cute and I'm wondering if I can dye it because its like a natural cotton color, which isn't bad or anything it just isn't the best for my skin coloring. I'm thinking green or something along those lines. I'm really making an effort to eat better and so far I've done it for 2 days.

I have to clean out my trunk today. I need to for fuel economy and because I just have too much crap in there! I like to be prepared for everything (I have a blanket, paper towels, several pairs of shoes, scarves, jackets and an umbrella or two). But I will be prepared and organized...I demand it.

Peace out.

Come on try a little, nothing is forever...

2009-07-30T08:34:00.001-07:00

Lucy just had a friggin' meltdown, seriously, it was like she was possessed. It was crazy! But now they are all being quiet and I think falling asleep, or thats what I'm hoping. :)

They fell asleep by 8:45 and I'm sitting on the couch reading web comics. I wonder how fast I type...probably like 48 words a minute. I think I'll put that down.

I'm gonna go. I have things to do today like finishing the bean bags, watering a million plants, taking a shower, make the September calendar for the library and a flyer, go to type of water thing with Joshua, Rachel, Alyson and maybe Chris, then its Market and swimming again. :) :) :)

Oh, I just discovered that I like Its On with Alexa Chung. She's funny.

Peace out.

Those Bing commercials totally freak me out...

2009-07-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

Seriously, they are creepy. But you know what show I do like? Well, there are like 4: Made, Dance Your Ass Off, Drop Dead Diva and No Reservations w/ Anthony Bourdain.

Soooooo, today is attempt #2 for my "Sewing Day". :)

I like people from Minnesota! That accent is b-e-a-utiful!! Or really just funny. :) :)

On another note, I painted my toenails and they're lovely. Dark and magnificent. They look rather nice in my new sandals.

I like Phineas and Ferb, its a good cartoon.

I'm going to sew now. :)

Goodbye.

Botched Sewing Day

2009-07-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

My scissors were most definitely too dull to actually cut fabric. That was lame, my hope was shot of making anything with my sewing machine, so WEDNESDAY will be my sewing day because I have to make like 12 bean bags for a kids thing at the library on Friday and my mom wants them done the day before. Because she's awesome.

Sooo, I'm getting film this week to put in my new camera to see if it works. Actually, now that I think about it, I still haven't gotten the 4 rolls of film I used in the camera I got at the Arc thrift store in Chico yet. Wow, I suck. I should probably get on that. To the Penny Saver (I say this because I have no idea what our ads are really called here) here I come...so I can look for coupons and that way the developing can be on the cheap!

I think I'm done for right now. :)

Check that, you know you could be right...

2009-07-27T16:39:00.001-07:00

Candace isn't moving. I guess her mama and Starshine decided against it. I'm confused, but happy nonetheless. We're becoming good friends again and I believe in ridiculous numbers of second chances so, there we go.

I got a new camera in the mail today...have I told ya'll lately how much I love Urban Outfitters? Well, I love them |---------------------------------------------| this much. :) Its a cute little thing...don't ya think? :]

The front of it is translucent and detachable so I can put what

ever image I want on the front of the camera. And it was only $5. I'm a bargain whore, but only

hear that as "bargain whore" I am no other kind of whore. Just the budget-friendly kind. :P Wow, I'm silly.

I am now on the fast track to obtaining a U.S. passport. I'm quite excited. Now if someone asks if I want to go for a quick jaunt to, lets say, England...I can say, "Why certainly, let me grab my handy-dandy PASSPORT," and then we'll be off! Just like that. :)

I'm really excited for Fall semester to start. I have a planner, new camera, new attitude, support staff (Joshua, Summer and Rachel) and I have new sandals! And clearly the latter of it all is going to be the most helpful. Annnnnd, Morgan is going to be back. :) :)

I'm going to make a I have a few sewing supplies to save up for. I need a cloth measuring tape thing...that isn't retractable, pinking shears and regular scissors.

I think I'm going to do something sewing related now.

Peace out you gorgeous people.

Candace is moving today

2009-07-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

I went over to Candace's yesterday afternoon and we played Clue and I almost won. Its nice to be getting back to where Morgan and I were in our friendship. I'm going to come over once a week to watch America's Next Top Model with her when it starts again and hopefully it'll be good again. I hope it is...I miss her and I feel like I don't know what's going on anymore with anyone.

I drove Candace, Morgan and Lindsey to In 'N Out for dinner last night on our way to One Mile to meet up with everyone for Candace's going away party. It was super fun, but kind of sad too because she's going to live at her dad's house. I suppose that gives me more of a reason to make the drive to the Bay because we're cool again and I'm totally going to miss her. Our friendship is weird sometimes, but I don't to give up because she is cool and a good friend so I'll have to remember to keep in touch. I think she's only to be gone for this semester, but I'm not sure and she doesn't know either.

So there's this guy named Chris that I kind of like. I've hung out with him twice and he's funny and super nice. We've been flirting and he's just nice.

I am super glad to be good friends with Alexandrea again because she's so nice and creative and has an awesome sense of fashion. She's so fun to hang out with and she's down with pretty much everything and hanging out with her is always a blast even if we're just sitting on a bench.

Peace out.

A night in Chico

2009-07-24T01:44:00.000-07:00

It was hot, fun, and awesome. I sweated like it was my job, but I didn't care because it was a GOOD night. Everyone seemed to be pretty chill with each other and there didn't seem to be any drama! Yay.

I went swimming (yes, just swimming) and it was nice. Cool and refreshing and a good way of not having to talk to the creepy guys hanging out by the pool. I'm super happy I was with a pretty large group of people. :) Met this guy named Chris and he seems pretty nice. We had a lot to talk about and it was rad.

I'm sooo tired I can't handle it and since I took care of instructions for the the who-brings-whats of the meal tonight, I feel like I can go to bed and it will be ok. The world will continue on without Heather for a few hours.

Peace out.

Mr. Towel, do you want to come to One Mile with me and absorb some water?

2009-07-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

I've been connecting emotionally songs lately. Today I listened to The Wallflower's "Cinderella" and I almost started crying. And then I listened to Norah Jones' "Sunrise" and the same thing happened. It was, and is, kind of ridiculous.

Alannah is spending the night because I told her she could before the end of summer so tonight's the night its happening. We're watching Primeval right now and its pretty interesting, kind of far fetched and ridiculous, but interesting nonetheless.

That is all.

Peace out.

Me and Cinderella, put it all together...

2009-07-20T19:24:00.001-07:00

I am done with my summer class!!! A weight has lifted! I feel happy and content. Now all I need is a job and my life will be complete.

So today my paper was due (I finished it last night at midnight and then printed it out this morning) and it was the day of my final, which I'm pretty certain I did well on...I'm at least sure I didn't fail it, and I'm just so happy. I'm actually sad to not have Jack as my teacher anymore, but I have his email so I think I'll ask him how he's doing and let him know what's going on and whatnot.

Yesterday was decent. Though my frustration from taking people's crap and being disappointed and feeling like I was sacrificing had building for awhile and I didn't handle a little disagreement last night and it kind of escalated and I feel bad, but at the same time I don't because I felt the need to stand my ground and I guess it must have seemed like I was browbeating, but I really didn't mean to. I'm just trying to get a handle on my emotions and whatnot. Sometimes its pretty hard to hold the reins and I feel like I have to let go to feel normal again. Not that I want to be normal. I think its blase to be normal, I'm good with being abnormal and unique.

There are so many things I want to do and there aren't enough hours in the day or enough motivation in just myself. I'm frustrated about what to do first.

And this lack of a job things is really stressing me out too. I need some kind of outlet for my frustrations. I went for a walk this morning and it was great. :) I think I'm going to do that every morning from this point forward.

I suck at relationships.

Peace out.

Going away parties and skinny dipping.

2009-07-12T15:26:00.001-07:00

So, yesterday was a pretty busy day for me. :) I went to the Paradise Pow Wow which I thought was fun...for the most part. I thought it was just going to be Garth, Barb, Kenny and I, but I ended up running into the rest of the Abbey which was awesome. :] I had an Indian taco and fry bread (the fry bread was the BEST! Especially with honey...and I don't usually like honey!) Then I drove Kenny back to the Abbey and hung out with Rachel while helping her do prep for the art class later that afternoon. We did that, it went well and we got back to the Abbey around 5:15 pm. I went to C.O. to check in and then I went home and had dinner. After dinner I followed my mom and dad down to Chico to Cafe Flo (which is one of THE coolest cafes I've been in) to watch my mom's coworker's husband's band play. I thought they were really good and I wanted a cd, but they didn't have any, so I'll have to ask my mom's coworker about it when I see her next. After they played their set I left because I had a going away party for Becca to go to and I was already an hour and a half late. They weren't at Woodstock's Pizza when I got there so I texted Candace and she said they (Ryan, Candace, Morgan, Becca, Jessica, Michelle, Stanton, Amanda, and Dave) were at the Plaza. I got there and I was catching up with people and at one point I said, "I cried jears of toy!" which was AWESOME. :) :) Theeeeeen, we all drove to One Mile for some swimming and whatnot. Jessica ended up skinny dipping and then so did Becca and then Ryan and then I did too. We were talking about the fact that I'd never skinny dipped before and she said, "I took your skinny virginny!!!" And then we laughed and it was awesome! I was in the water for like 2 hours and then we all decided that we were going to go to Walmart, but I told everyone that I had to get home because I had church today and I didn't want to be completely dysfunctional while I was greeting people and through youth group...I think thats pretty pretty much what happened yesterday and I'll check back in with new stuff. :) :)

{Peace out!}

Let the tears fall freely

2009-07-09T23:25:00.000-07:00

I've had an eventful, if not scary, day. It started out dull-ly enough...got up at 7:30 to give my dad his birthday card before he went to work and so he didn't think that I forgot. Hung out at home and watched a movie while staying at home because there were people working on our roof. Made said men lemonade because I thought they'd be thirsty; then proceeded to watched the pitcher like a hawk making sure someone drank out of it. :) I'm a dork. Then I checked in at C.O. and picked up my bag from the Abbey (Kenny's still not talk to me and apparently I'm the only one he's mad at and I feel bad because he's PMSing with everyone pretty much). I had dinner with my parents tonight because of my dad's birthday and I went over to J-Fizzle's after. They were having some friends over and we hung out, made s'mores and Karis got hurt. It was one of the scariest things I've ever seen. I'm just happy she's ok. I stayed til right around 11 pm and then decided to go home. Passed Summer and Karis on their way up the driveway and was happy to see that Karis looked pretty happer (if tired) and healthy and still alive! On the way home I started crying for many particular reasons. And I haven't cried in a long time.

Reasons:

1. Kenny being mad at me and only me. I'm not 100% victim I know that and I said things to make him mad, well not specifically intended to make him mad. I spoke truth and for being a lover of and believer in the truth, he didn't like hearing it all that much.

2. My stupid job hunt. I don't understand why I'm the girl who gets past the check-in and interview periods, but never gets the job.

3. Karis' mishap.

4. Some stuff with Joshua.

5. Mike was in there somewhere, just in the background like he always is.

6. Candace and Morgan's utter boycott of me and then Morgan's denial of ever doing that. I'm so confused...I just don't understand.

7. A book I read this afternoon.

8. Feeling so happy that I feel like I have a real family now, but...

9. Also feeling like I can't get close to anyone. I know I have Joshua, Summer, Jason, Julissa, Rachel...they're family, but I'm not feeling as close to Joshua as I have, though I suppose I feel closer to Summer than I have in the past...and Rachel is like my sister, so the usual feelings come with that. Kind of two sided mild love-hate relationship.

10. Overwhelming urge to just cry and cry and cry.

When I was crying I prayed. Now that may not sound like much to you, but I don't pray. Its not what I do. I feel stupid doing it and I don't know that God really wants to hear me all that much, but I did tonight. And it made me feel better, which got me thinking. No wonder people pray so much!! It makes you feel better...for the most part.

I need to get some sleep. My eyes are puffy and my vision is blurring a little.

Good night.

Peace.

Forte Minor and the Sundance Kid

2009-07-07T22:56:00.001-07:00

My friend Dana works at Coffee's On and she gave me some advice on what to do to help me get hired because she'd rather work with me than any of the other applicants ([I think thats what she said...its what I remember anyways] which was nice to hear, but kind of insulting as well, but I suppose its a double-edged sword). It was really nice to get the advice from her, but also just hearing from her because I hadn't since we graduated last year. We're talking again on Myspace and she's into reading my blog (my visitors are going up! :D) and she's nice to talk to. While checking on my application I have realized something: small talk and I? We're not friends. BUT, I kind of had a break through today on that front, I checked in and a girl behind the counter said she liked my sunglasses and we had a little conversation while I filled out my piece of paper and I felt like it was honest on both parts and I left feeling a little nicer and happier and I hope she felt the same way.

The menu for prayers tonight was: bbq chicken, corn, salad, biscuits, watermelon, and roasted potatoes. Everyone said everything was delicious which I'm getting used to, but people, by all means please let me know when something DOESN'T taste good ok? I need to know these things. I also was going to make sugar cookies, but I didn't really have time to bake them...so the dough's in the fridge just waiting til tomorrow to be baked and then taken over to J-Fizzle's for devour-ation by the Price and Winton families and Rachel/Kenny as well of course. "Devour-ation" is not a word, I know, but I'm using it anyways. :) :)

I think naps are completely underrated and to oppose that I'm going to take more of them...you know, wholly embrace them with a vigor and passion that I'm sure I will sway the world to take more naps. (Random tangent!)

I'm just really tired right now, if I have more to write about I will tomorrow. :) :)

Peace.

4th of July

2009-07-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well, today's the 4th of July, so woot.

Ok, so if you recall the spending money I referred to in a previous post, well it mostly funneled back to me so really my mom just wanted the transaction to occur so I get used to it or something totally, you know, necessary for life-skills. She is totally good to me. I got 3 pairs of shorts, a shirt and a vest from Torrid in Medford (yeah, they have a Torrid and Chico doesn't...I don't understand it!), then I got a new water bottle/canteen thing, a lunch bag, a few things (little gag things) for the Abbey, and some fabric (to make my own dress!!) and some hand-carved earrings that are SUPER awesome and helped raise someone's standard of living in Polynesia (I think). I love that there is no sales tax in Oregon. That, my friends, is seriously the shit...I really like saying that right now for some reason...I don't know. :) :) :) :) :)

I'm going to Gwen's to do housework for her. She called yesterday while I was driving back from Oregon and then she called again this morning. She's desperate (my word; not hers) to get her house clean for her party on Tuesday so I'm cleaning today from noon to 4 pm. Maybe a little longer if she feels its necessary. I'm kind of tired today, but I asked her to call me if she needed help with anything and I REALLY need the money. Though why she called me and not her housekeeper is kind of confusing, but thats ok. It is up to her and her alone. Anyways, she's really nice because she just called back to ask if I wanted to bring a swimsuit because I'll be hot and tired when I'm done cleaning and hanging out in the pool might be just what I need. And I think I will...she's just really nice and thoughful. I like her a lot.

Thursday morning I totally discovered that I have a new favorite yogurt flavor; strawberry banana. That stuff is the shit. :) I love it.

OH, last night (in case you haven't seen my facebook status) I went to the Outlaws game and fireworks show. It was fun, more fun than usual because we were seated by some pretty neat people. This couple sitting in front of us knew all the dances that they play music for so that was cool and a guy sitting next to them likes to yell "Charge" when they hold up the sign just like my mom and I do...so there were a total of 3 people yelling. We had enough spirit for the whole section of 103, because we're awesome. :)

I'm going to go get ready to check in at Coffee's On and then jet off over to Gwen's. (I don't know how to spell her last name, but I wouldn't anyways because this is the internets...you don't just do that willy-nilly on the internets...)

Peace out.

Ashland today & I paid the rent on time!

2009-07-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

Guess what guys? I'm going to Ashland today and I'm gonna see Macbeth! I'm super excited, its time with my mama. We haven't been in at least 2 years and I can't even handle the excitement I'm harboring right now.

Also, I saw the FUNNIEST music video on Youtube last night. Its this Indian guy singing a song in Indian and there are subtitles about what the Indian words sound like in English...super funny. One of the best lines in the whole thing is, "I put a papaya in there." It is totally random. Its a good time. :)

I'm hungry right now. I could go for a scone, some cherries and maybe a lemon square. Though I think I really only want the cherries...like a pound. OH! And some watermelon...like a half a watermelon. I'll have some digestion issues sure, but it'd be worth it. Its so hot outside.

I made scrambled eggs this morning for my mama and I and they were perfect and delicious.

I totally paid the rent on time which was actually a really good thing because it showed my mom I'm not a total stupid-head and it gave us spending money.

Peace out!

So sick of....

2009-06-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

living at home. Well, no, yes, I'm sick of it.

Tonight was the first time in a long time that I felt at home. It was with Joshua, Summer, Rachel, Julissa and Jason. I felt like we were all family, you know, joking with each other, laughing and just enjoying the company. It literally made my heart hurt to have to go home. I almost started to cry.

I owe my mom rent tomorrow. Right before we take off for Ashland, OR. That just makes me giggle to pieces...NOT.

I'm so tired I can't handle it.

Peace.

Oh, and Michael...

2009-06-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

You will NOT be missed. I'm not a fan of death, but he gave me the creeps and I was not a fan of his music. I'm sorry you died, but I won't miss you. The only thing I might miss, MIGHT, is the saga of your shrinking nose and the contrast of your feminine facial features and your 5 o'clock shadow. Such confusion your provoked in me.

5 day update and some other thoughts.

2009-06-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Here's a little update of my life for you peeps that read this. :)

Wednesday- I called Sam and we talked for a little while and she said that we might be able to hang out, but apparently that didn't happen, she seems to think my hanging out with her hinges on whether or not the perfume stuff I ordered shows up. (I sent it to her house because it was easier and shipping was cheaper to do that way.) I want to let her know that I want to hang out with her because I love her and not because I want the thing I ordered...I mean, it would be nice to have it, but I just miss her face and I miss Tristan and Christian. I miss their whole package. I think I hung out with Rachel and Kenny today also and I'm sure we had fun.

Thursday- Market tonight, I stayed home til my mom got home so she could see me before I left because I knew I wasn't going to be home before they went to bed. Got down there and Ryan wasn't even there yet, so I hung out leaned against a wall people watching for 30 mins while I waited for him to get downtown. I finally saw him, Candace, Morgan, Lindsay, Cella, and Michelle and we all walked around and hung out, running into Wes, Dave and Rose at the Plaza and just talking and joking and having a pretty good time. It was nice. :) Then Ryan asked me if I wanted to go for a walk and he proceeded to tell me that he was getting annoyed with people and it put a bit of a damper on my evening, but then Wes, Dave and Rose went home and Ryan, Candace, Lindsey and Morgan went to In 'N Out and Michelle and I went to McDonald's and on a drive so we could talk about things. It was nice and very informative and now I think I have a little better understanding of the situation with some people than I did before. Then we went to meet up with Ryan and the others and we talked and ran into Nikki and Nick and this guy named John and Hanna. Michelle and I went to One Mile and we texted Ryan to see if he and the gang wanted to and apparently they didn't because I'm a leper, so Michelle and I put our feet in the water and watched the bats go after the water bugs. It was an overall very good evening.

Friday- Didn't do anything in the morning...'cept sleep because I was tired, then I did some chores and then I went to the Abbey and started making snickerdoodles, but I didn't have any cream of tartar so they went hard after they cooled (kind of a disappointment, but they tasted pretty awesome, so that was good!) and then I started on the chicken and rice. I think I'm going to stick to chicken and rice casseroles because then the rice is delicious and moist and cooked all the way through. Unlike when I used the rice cooker which apparently can't handle 5 cups of rice because I can't fit enough water, so the rice was hard. I think I'll make it in a pot next time. Overall, it was a good night as well.

Saturday- The usual from like 8 am - 4:30 pm THEN I went down to Chico to buy colored duct tape for the library at Michaels and to see my friend Mike in a play he was doing called Eating Raoul. He was REALLY good. We hung out after the show for a little bit and it was awesome. It wasn't weird talking to him and we made easy conversation. It was a good time.

Sunday- Nursery. Thai food for lunch. Youth group. Hanging out with Rachel afterwards til 8:30 and then I went home and watched some TV with my parents, BUT then Michelle called me and asked if I wanted to go to One Mile for swimming and I said Duh so I met her and Dave down there (it was supposed to be Michelle, Dave, Amanda, Wes, Ryan and me, but Wes and Amanda and Ryan bailed on us.) and we went swimming and while we were in the pool Elnora and her boyfriend and his friends came over and were doing dives and whatnot into the water, so that was fun except that they were smoking pot. They/the smoke weren't bothering me, so I ignored it and left them alone. Then around 11 pm we went to Tacos de Acapulco for some late night Mexican food and it was delicious and the most fun I've had in a while with Dave. Got home at 12:30 am and went to bed directly.

Today- Got up at 7:30 am, cleaned beneath my bed because I'm getting a new mattress, did the trash and yard waste cans by 8:30 and then had some breakfast and squeezed a shower in before I did the trash. Then I caught the bus and got to class on time, but the sub didn't show so this lady from the office came down and told us that class was cancelled so I'm stuck in the cafeteria til 1 pm with nothing to do. Thank goodness I have a little money (so I can get a snack) and my laptop so I can talk to people and playa game or two.

I'm finally getting kind of comfortable with my classmates. Its a nice feeling.

Well, I'm hungry and thirsty so I'm gonna do something about that.

Peace. :)

This is from last Saturday.

2009-06-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about my role in the Abbey and I think right now I work best as the Abbey "chef" or whatever you want to call me. I really feel like I have a good palette because I totally SAVED dinner last night. The recipe didn't call for enough sauce so I ended up just throwing one together and it was pretty delicious...or people seemed to like it. :)

Peace.

Roseville, The Giveaway I Didn't Attend, and Father's Day

2009-06-21T08:17:00.000-07:00

So its Father's Day and I'm making dinner for my dad tonight and I still have to get him a card because I think he thinks I'm a bit old to still be making him a card (though for you people reading this, you still get handmade cards because thats how I roll and I don't really want to propel the greeting/birthday/father's day card industry any further than absolutely necessary because I think they're a big waste of money).

On Friday I drove my friends Candace (who I guess isn't mad at me anymore because she was nice to me and I really don't get it) and Wes down to Roseville to go to my other friend Mel's birthday party. I'm pretty sure its the furthest I've ever driven by myself and it was a major confidence booster. I totally feel like an accomplished driver now, which is ridiculous, but what I'm feeling nonetheless (I just looked up "nonetheless" up in the dictionary and its spelled correctly as is, I didn't know that...yay me!). I got us there in an hour and 40 mins because there was traffic and we had a rockin' good time. Candace and Wes and everyone else stayed up til 6 am and I held out til a measly 3:30 am, but I was driving us home the next day and I didn't want to fall asleep while driving, I hear thats not a good thing to do, so I went to bed. Then on Saturday I practically drove home by myself because Candace and Wes both fell asleep and stayed asleep the whole ride home (they were lucky I knew how to get home) and I dropped them both off at their respective homes and got myself home around 1:30 and took a shower that I don't really remember and took some medication for a killer headache and took a nap that lasted from 2 -6:15 pm. It was the BEST nap ever. Oh, and before I fell asleep I texted Rachel back about the giveaway we were having that day. Now (its Sunday) that I don't have a headache and got a full night's rest I realize I should have went straight over after my shower, but at the time sleep was all I wanted. Maybe that was selfish, but I don't think I would have been any fun or help and I probably would have gotten people mad at me.

The giveaway was a success which I'm happy to hear. And the Abbey even played frisbee golf with some random kids from the neighborhood so I'm thinking they had a blast. I do feel like I let Joshua down though.

All in all, I had a pretty great couple of days and I hope to have another week of greatness. I need to check on my app at Coffee's On and then on Monday I'm going around to the video stores around town and the hospital to see if they need people to wash dishes or do anything in their food service area.

We'll see.

Peace.

Why Was This Man Shot 114 Times?

2009-06-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty excited about jason and Julissa and little Santiago moving up here this summer. We get to see them A LOT more. Its gonna rock!

Tuesday night was pretty fun. We had weinies in Joshua's backyard and then we walked down to the chocolate shop on Skyway to have evening prayers in their garden (which was beautiful and smelled like jasmine) and it was a lovely time.

OH, this morning I found my turquoise earrings and it was AWESOME. I'm wearing them right now and they are fabulous.

I'm learning about Indians nations and that there are 150 separate nations, which I didn't know, and that Indian casinos are the U.S.' way of making reparations for all the deals we broke.

We've spent the last 50 mins of class doing an online quiz about the class' ideology. And I think we're only half way done.

Peace out!

OH, I'm spending the night at the Abbey.

Marketplace of Ideas in U.S. Gov't

2009-06-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

I'm in U.S. Gov't right now and I'm tired, but my teacher is pretty awesome. :) He's a "free spirit" in that he cusses like a sailor as says everything bluntly and plainly. I like him...he's neat.

He just said that doing a protest dance is protected in the 1st amendment. Go him.

I'm hungry and lucky for me I brought my lunch: a spicy pork chop, baked beans, and corn. I'm pretty excited it. (:

Oohhhh, so I'm completely obsessed with Skype right now. I love it! While there are ridiculous amounts of creepsters and oldies and complete psychopaths, there are also some pretty awesome people. I'm talking to this guy from Sac and he's pretty awesome and we talked for like 3 hours last night. I like talking to new people and I try to do it safely, you know, don't give out personal information...I'm pretty careful with that stuff.

Ok, so I totally want to try lengua tacos. And I want to try lychee. Jack, my Gov't teacher said there are some places in Chico that have pretty good lengua tacos...so I'm going to try it.

Alright. I should probably focus now.

Peace.

The International

2009-06-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

So I watched a movie called Dopamine and it was really good. I really liked it. It made me think and I like movies that make me do that...I also feel like I need to watch it again to fully get it, which in my mind is a good thing.

Today was a pretty chill day. I did a lot of cleaning, just in my room, but I feel good because of it. I also tended to my baby lettuce and its coming along nicely. I'm quite excited to be able to eat something I grew myself because I don't like tomatoes and thats all my mom ever plants...because she loves them, freakishly loves them.

I got an application from Coffee's On today, so I'm going to fill it out tonight and then return it tomorrow. Wish me luck on that. The hospital is next on my list to see if I can get an application for their food service jobs. I'm also going to go the video stores in town and some restaurants to see if I can waitress. I mean business this time.

I watched The International with my parents tonight (its 10:46 pm in case the time stamp is from this afternoon). It was a decent movie, but there was no ending and that irked me, so I dub it a bad movie.

Anyway, I'm tired.

Peace.

Name Change and Other Things

2009-06-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really upbeat right now. I had my check in with Joshua and I'm having a good day with Rachel, we're bantering and talking quite well and the little bit of a bad mood I had totally just evaporated.

I'm pretty excited about the name change to my blog. I think its neat. I like the way it sounds and I like what it means.

Rachel and I are having a sleep over tonight and Alex is coming over for a while as well. It should be fun.

Gonna go, will talk later.

And the Beat Goes On...Or I Hope it Does

2009-06-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

A comment about my previous post...I don't know if "sewer" was the right term. I just reread what I wrote like 5 mins ago and I realized I'm pretty sure I wrote sewer (like what waste goes into in the big cities). And I don't feel like I'm going to be that kind of sewer. :P I'm thinking more of the crafty girl that sews her own clothes and makes her friends bags and tablecloths and napkins, dresses and stuff.

Lets see, what has been going on in my life lately...I signed up for U.S. Gov't over the summer because my mom got pissed that I dropped a couple classes last semester. I owe her $100 rent this summer (i.e. July and August) and if I don't get an A in my summer class I owe her another $100 for September. I won't be dropping another class for the rest of my college life because my mother won't allow me and she's paying for my schooling.

I will continue this dissection of my life later because I am already late for Fridays for Lunch and I still need a shower.

Peace.

Went to Darlene's...Gonna Be a A "Sewer"

2009-06-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a Mary Kay party thing which was fun. I invited Allyson, Rachel and my mom ended up being my 3rd guest because Sara couldn't make it. I got $75 worth of Mary Kay stuff for $35 which was pretty great. (: That was yesterday.

Today, I woke up with a headache that went away after I ate some cereal. Then I went to the library and helped a little with theater curtains that the children's librarian was putting up and then Rachel switched with me so I went and rolled up all the materials the kids will need for the Summer Reading Program. Then I laminated some things for my mom and then she let me leave and then I went home to take a shower and then I got caught up watching Burn Notice and I took a nap that lasted longer than I thought it would so I showed up at the Abbey around 2:15 instead of 1:30 like I told Rachel, but I don't feel like she minded all that much and then we went to Darlene's house so she could give the beginnings of a lesson about how to sew.

I will soon be a sewer. I will make my own clothes (cute little dresses, skirts, tops that will actually fit my stupid chest, I may even make a swimsuit *huge grin*) and a cover for my bed and curtains and pillow cases and a laptop case and new pot holders for the kitchen. Its going to be awesome. I'll crochet socks for people for Christmas and I'll make Joshua wear the ones I make for him at least for 5 mins.

I feel like this is enough. I think I'm going to watch an episode of something on Hulu. (:

Peace.

Yesterday and Other Disasters

2009-05-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

So I was cleaning house yesterday and Dad was home because of the holiday and I was vacuuming the computer room and he came in and told me I was vacuuming the room backwards...against common sense and he kept telling me to move things and vacuum under this and totally critiquing how I was cleaning when I know full well that he wouldn't do it himself. It was like if I didn't clean the way he likes the house was going to fall apart and become an infectious cesspool. It made me so mad.

I would seriously be happy if I never have to get up at 5:30 am ever again!

I have to go water the garden I'm watching now, I should have done it a few hours ago.

Then I have to paint my address rock as well.

And I need to put the dishes away as well, by 12:30 because Ryan is coming over to watch Bee Movie.

Peace.

Wizards of Waverly Place, Peanut Butter Cookies, $50, & Jessyfish (I love her)

2009-05-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Babysitting Wendy's kids is always a blast. We made peanut butter cookies and watched Cars and I put them to bed around 9:30 and Wendy and Jessica didn't get back til 12:15 am. I was totally asleep on the couch when they came in. It was funny...I love Wendy because she pays like she remembers what its like to babysit, you know? They had a good time at the Michael Franti concert they went to (I swear one day I will go with them to a concert instead of being the babysitter...it will happen). I gave Jessica a ride home and we talked about lots of things, I love that girl.

So last night I was babysitting, dog/housesitting for the Mowers and house/gardensitting for my next door neighbors. It was a crazy night. I didn't get to the place I'm housesitting til 1:15 am this morning and I had to be up at 5:15 am to take care of chickens halfway across town. How do I set myself up for this? Its only til Tuesday though...so thats good. Only 2 more days of 5:15 am, chicken poop, and being attacked by a cat around the ankles.

I'm going to go to sleep now for like an hour.

Peace.

Popcorn Ceilings, Romance Movies, & Being Mad at Men

2009-05-23T14:39:00.000-07:00

I'm babysitting for Wendy's kids tonight which is going to be awesome. I don't know what's in store, last time it was watching a Power Rangers video on loop from 6:30 til bedtime which was 8:30 (wasn't that fun? :P). I'm sure there will be some awesomeness and Cassidy might draw an outfit for me to wear on my wedding day like she did last time. That was pretty awesome, I think she could really be a designer. :)(: I'm feeling better today, thank goodness, last night was pretty scary. I thought I was going to die. Crying, hyperventilating, you know, the whole works. And I was almost pecked to death by a rooster.

Something's Gotta Give is a pretty good movie, though it makes me mad at men...or for a while I was...and then now I'm trying to be more understanding about what makes them tick.

I'm going to go cut my hair. I need something to do. Maybe I'll go dress shopping online as well. I can't handle being bored. I just want to eat. I'm going to get a glass of water.

Peace.

The Abbey

2009-05-22T22:53:00.001-07:00

I'm too upset to blog right now. I'm a mess.

I'll get back to you when I'm not such a mess in 10 to 20 years.

Peace.

Running lines with Mike til 1 am

2009-05-21T13:21:00.000-07:00

So apparently, I have got to think before I post my status on Facebook. I posted that I didn't have any pants on, which was true. And then Sassy Pat commented. It was silly and kind of embarrassing to be honest.

I have to pee.

I'm back. My dad just had like a HUGE meltdown in the living room and I'm just super happy that I was in my room when it happened because I felt like if I was out there with him there would have been yelling and screaming instead of the muttered curses that were his way of dealing with whatever happened. I don't even want to know what happened. Honestly, when he gets like this I don't feel safe. Like I don't think he'd actually hit me or anything, but I don't want to tempt the fates, for they may be feeling spiteful at the moment I do. He's a quiet anger, for the most part. Its more unnerving than anything else.

I'll post more later.

Peace.

For J-Fizzle

2009-05-17T19:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty good one. Busy, but laid back at the same time. Youth group was pretty good as well even though only 2 kids showed up. Just Kendrick and Dylan.

I finished traffic school up today, so I just have to monitor to make sure they send my confirmation of completion to the Paradise court. So I don't have to pay another fee.

J-Fizzle just texted me this horrible dream that he had last night about the Abbey and it made me cry. I felt so bad that he had to experience it even though it would NEVER happen. He's family and I/we love him and even if I'm not "in" the Abbey anymore, I'd still talk to him and hang out because he'd still be my brother and Summer would still be my sister and Ethan, Karis, and Luci would still be my little ones that I love. I have nieces and a nephew! Thats so COOL. I wonder if they think of me as an aunt. That'd be cool. Anyway, I love you J-Fizzle and to show that love I would like you to see this:

And I would also like you to see this:

Well, thats all I have for you, but I love you, the dog loves you too.

Peace.

Honey-Nut Cheerios

2009-05-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

I am currently sitting in the Mowers' livingroom watching Regis & Kelly Live because I'm Liane sitting for the next 4 days. That basically means that I'm spending the night so she's not alone. I don't know why she can't sleep in her own house at night, but whatever, she doesn't mind and I get paid so its all good. I'm also house/garden/cat sitting for my neighbors so I'll be able to save up some money which is always a good thing. OH, and I'm housesitting for the Mowers' again next week for like 3 days.

I was watching America's Next Top Model Wednesday night and I was so mad with who the judges chose to be the winner. Teyona, I didn't think, was the right choice. Her performance on the runway wasn't as good as Allison's and I think Allison's just prettier and more interesting than Teyona, but I'm not Tyra, so my opinion doesn't matter.

I'm tired, but I'm going to go exercise.

Peace.

Cashews, Almonds & Journey to the Center of the Earth

2009-05-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

In the Butte caf with Michelle, Joe and Nikki. I love them all. I haven't seen Michelle in a while and its nice to hang out with her again. We're going to Chico because she has to be down there for when her sorority texts her with a list of chores for her to do at the sorority house.

Chico was fun. Michelle, Amanda and I hung out by the fountain and talked about everything and then Amanda asked if we wanted to go to a dojo for the Aikido class she's taking next semester and we said yes so we went. It was pretty awesome. Then I got a quesadilla because I was hungry and I shared and then we walked around some more and I drove Amanda home and I don't think her mom hates me anymore. Well, I'm not sure she ever did, I just thought she didn't like me.

I just watched Journey to the Center of the Earth with Brenden Fraiser and it was GREAT!!!!

I have to take a shower so I don't smell while painting at the Abbey today. :D

Peace.

I Drew a Pregnant Stick Figure Lady 10 Mins Ago

2009-05-12T07:47:00.001-07:00

Wow, so I reread my last post and while I still kind of feel that way, I'm ok with feeling that way. I think its perfectly normal to have doubts and whatnot about a big commitment.

I think I'm doing better in nutrition than I am in macroeconomics and that makes me sad. We have quizzes online and sometimes my computer just decides not to let me click the "begin assessment" button so I'm there staring at it being so close, but not being able to get there. Its really annoying. I emailed my teacher and he said that 23 people had success with it so I'm just kind of SOL. That makes me mad and sad because I emailed him, but he won't let me print it out to take it on a hard copy. It just bugs me. I'm trying. I'll just be happy to pass the class.

I'm in the Butte cafeteria alone because Candace and Becca didn't ride the bus this morning (I almost missed too) and it kind of sucks because I don't have headphones, so I can't block out the world like I usually do. I'm used to Candace being here too because she ditches Anthro so we're both out of class and then I go to macro. Except for the past 2 weeks when the weather's been pretty nice and I've done other things than go to macro. I hope I rock the final and then I should pull off at least a C+ which my mom won't be happy with, but whatever. If I need to I'll live at a friend's house and pay for Butte on my own. I really need to go job hunting. I think I'll do that this afternoon and pick up applications. I still can't believe the whole Baskin Robbins saga. It just makes me so mad. UGH!

I'm going to go look for the BOG fee waiver thing because I think mine ran out.

Peace.

Puffy-Eyed Confessions

2009-05-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

I think I'll start off with the whole cobbing experience first. It was fun, educational and I got to meet some pretty neat, creative and resourceful people. Making cobb is definitely not an easy process, but I think it would be worth at least trying at the Abbey in the near future with summer on its way and whatnot to address our lack of space for emergency housing. Also, I'm thinking I'm just going to get started on the veggie garden like looking for straw bales on Craigslist and what not and researching what plants would be good ones. I'm thinking potatoes, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, maybe broccoli (because I love it) and probably a lettuce of some variety. I think that would be pretty good...and maybe string beans.

Sam and I were supposed to go see Floater Friday night, but I guess Christian and Tristan were sick so they didn't come to dinner that night and I didn't even know about it til then because she never called to say that she was bailing. I'm just sad that we didn't get to hang out that night and that I kind of wasted $30. And I just really wish that Christian would get his life together because its not healthy for him to be going to the hospital every few months because of his blood sugar. Its not healthy and I'm worried about whether he's going to be around much longer if he keeps this trend up. I want him to shape up; to eat foods that are good for him, to sleep in a semi-regular pattern, to just keep being alive. I just hope he has an epiphany soon, before something majorly bad happens. I don't want Sam to be alone in raising Tristan.

Sometimes I feel like I really belong in the Abbey...and other times I think that I need to just grow up a little more and figure out what I want to do with my life before I commit to something like this. Joshua said it himself, he wasn't looking for people my age when he thought up the Abbey. He was thinking 20 somethings/30 somethings out of college with their lives semi-together who are ready to take charge, lead at what they're good at and follow at what isn't their strong suit and live together in peace, harmony with the birds singing and making a difference in our community. I wish I was those things. All of them, but I am not a single one of those things. I'll be 20 next year, I'm just starting college, I have not a clue about what I want to do with my life (though I'm thinking maybe urban planning or something environmental or a physical therapist), I don't know what I'm good at, I don't know how to lead, I don't know how to plan events. I'm a n00b. Thats just how it is. And sometimes I feel like I'm bringing more harm than good into the Abbey and that the LAST thing I want to do to Joshua. He's my brother, family. I love him and would give him a kidney, part of my liver and half of my heart if he needed it. I just don't know that I'm what he needs right now. I don't know that I'm good enough, strong enough, passionate enough. I'm just a stupid teenager who's worries are how she's going to fill her gas tank and what summer job she can scrounge up to hopefully move out from her freaking oppressive parents thumb and start actually living a life in the real world where its scary and there isn't someone always there to help you up when you fall back on the rent or run out of gas and can't get to work. Basically I'm just trying not to bang myself up too badly before I hit 25 so I can at least have a chance at my turn to change the world. I'm ill-equipped for what he and the Abbey needs. I want to be the properly equipped person I know they need, its just not me.

And it sucks.

I have to go to bed, I can't see what I'm typing right now, my eyes are super puffy.

Peace.

Creating Cobb Tomorrow

2009-05-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

Hey. Today was a pretty chill day.

I start a new diet tomorrow. I'm pretty excited because its been working for Sam, so I have hopes and expectations for me.

I'm tired.

Peace.

Death By Something Or Other

2009-05-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

For the next few weeks I'm going to be all about school. I don't hate my nutrition class or teacher anymore. I swear after the first 3/4 of the semester you build up a tolerance and start to even like her. Nuts I know. (:

Next semester is going to be hard, but I know that I'm interested in everything I signed up for and I'm committed to making next semester better for grades, I don't plan on hanging out with friends as much in the morning or at Butte in general unless they are in my classes and they go everyday so as to motivate me. I think I'll pull off a B in nutrition and I'm hoping for a C+ in Macroeconomics so I can just pass them and get them counting towards my requirements for transferring to Chico.

This weekend I'm going with J-Fizzle and Sassy the Squatch up to Redding to help/learn how to make cobb which is a natural and super cheap building material. I'm SUPER excited about it.

I'm going to the EDD in Chico to pick up an application for one of the 300 jobs they're making for youth in Butte County. I hope I get one. I'll have to fill it out tonight and then drop it back off tomorrow. Lots of driving in my future, I wish I could just bike everywhere. That'd be awesome. That'd be freaking sick.

The bus will be here soon and then I can drive straight down to Chico, pick up said application, go sunglasses shopping because I have NO idea where mine are (I hate it when I lose a pair because usually they're my favorite and then I have to wear the ones that I bought my faves to replace) and then I'm heading back up to Paradise where I will work out, shower and then have dinner with the fam and then actually do homework and not watch America's Next Top Model because lets face it, I won't die if I never watch that show again and there are probably a million and one things I could be doing that are more important and more informative and whatnot.

I'm so excited to have lots of books to read because I feel like I have things to do in the empty time between classes and just stuff to fill the holes in my life. I don't like to do nothing so reading is an easy, low-impact low-stress thing that I can do.

Bus will be here in a few mins.

Peace!